tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79293742024-03-18T22:59:28.326-05:00Trixie's HomeThe events of the world may be important, but there's nothing more important than the life that happens within our very own homes.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.comBlogger717125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-40687480989489407092017-06-23T11:18:00.001-05:002017-06-23T11:18:10.500-05:00Hello out there!! Today is Friday, June 23, 2017. It's been a few years since I posted anything. Shortly after that last post, I changed jobs and this blog just slipped through my fingers and out of my daily memory.
I'm not sure yet if I will pick it up again on a daily basis. There are times when I think it would be a good thing for my inner being to have this anonymous (mostly) place to write.
I'm in the middle of my work day right now, though, so I will ponder the matter through the day.
Is anyone out there? Is anyone seeing this? Does anyone remember me? Let me know.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-55215612060613797852014-10-08T12:52:00.002-05:002014-10-08T12:52:56.883-05:00Things are going wellThe project is going well, other than my slip-up at lunch on Monday. I have to stay mindful at times and not visit the vending machine upstairs just because I've hit a lull and need a distraction.<p>
Today, so far, I've had cereal with milk for breakfast and a couple of tuna salad sandwiches for lunch. That's about a quarter for breakfast and a dollar for lunch (I woke up hungry so had the two sandwiches to hold me until supper.)<p>
I anticipate eating an orange shortly. And should I be absolutely starving, there's an apple on my shelf, too (I won't be.)<p>
Tonight, if I don't fall asleep early, I'll be doing some cooking. Sauce for lasagna; small meatloafs; an interesting looking stew with dried apricots, almond slivers and assorted spices. These are all items to cook ahead and split into individual servings. Most will go in the freezer while a couple of each go in the fridge for this week's meals. Then I'll stop until I rotate everything out of the freezer. <p>
I'm a week into this, and for the most part I've not suffered or been unable to survive on $4 a day for food. <p>
One nice thing -- years ago I bought a boatload of Pampered Chef stoneware -- for the most part it goes unused. However, I do have a pan that makes four small loafs. That's what I'll make the meatloaf in tonight. Consistency in size will make it easier to have individual servings. And I guess I really should use the pan if I'm going to keep it. I also have a very nice size pan for making lasagna. Hmm. There's a message here or something.<p>
That's it for today's update. Stay tuned!</P>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-90414373029516893312014-10-06T15:19:00.001-05:002014-10-06T15:19:17.966-05:00An admissionI've been doing really well at spending no more than $4 a day for food -- until today. I even brought my lunch today, but I had to run an errand.<p>
And while I was out, I was lured into Sonic for a cheeseburger. <p>
I am embarrassed and chagrined that I was so easily swayed. But I will get back on track tonight when I get home.<p>
My plan for tonight is to make a lasagna and a meat loaf from the ground beef I bought yesterday at Aldi's. Last night I made tacos from the odd quarter pound in the package, leaving two pounds to split between these two recipes. Both are favorites and last a long time. I also have a honkin' huge onion that I'll use in both. <p>
One of the nice side benefits of the SNAP challenge is that I haven't added any new food to the garbage pan. I've used up what I've had, which is so important.<p>
This morning's breakfast was a bowl of cereal with milk. It's kept me filled. The cheater burger really let me know that it wasn't THAT good and I won't have to repeat that misstep.<p>
Over the weekend I was mostly sick and in bed asleep, but I did get up a couple of times and nuked some hot dogs with chili. Tasty sick food (for me) and I didn't have to think about it. I was well under budget.<p>
Oh, also, my blood sugar was 70 this morning when I tested. I suspect it probably was affected by the drugs I've been taking for my neck pain. I'll have to be careful not to go any lower, although we all know it is so much easier to bring blood sugar UP than it is to get it down. I'll check it again tonight before supper. I opted not to use any insulin this morning because I didn't want to risk going lower. I'll re-assess that tonight, too.<p>
Here's to the jingle in your pockets!Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-26694852892294871122014-10-01T11:52:00.001-05:002014-10-01T11:52:18.486-05:00October 1: The SNAP experiment beginsGood morning, all. <P>
Here's a quick reminder of what's going on here for at least the next month. I'm doing an experiment to see if I can live with a food budget that falls within the SNAP guidelines. That budget is about $4 a day per person. Some numbers say $4.50 -- I'm aiming low just to see what is possible.<p>
I'm starting this experiment with several advantages. The most important are that I've already got a very well-stocked pantry, refrigerator and freezer. My personal goal is to use those resources first before spending more money at the store. I'll have to make educated guesses about the cost of the items I have on hand, but I will do that as honestly as I can and will note when those are best guesses.<p>
I've started the day running late, so I didn't have time to make breakfast from scratch. Instead, I had about two ounces of deli-sliced ham left in a package and I nommed on that as I drove to work. Best estimate: 69 cents.<p>
Lunch today will be a chicken salad sandwich with Aldi's Little Chef chicken salad with cranberries and pecans. One container at $3.79 has five servings; today's cost is 85 cents. Two slices of bread, 10 cents. I'll have an orange, estimated at 69 cents since I bought several pounds at one time. Total estimated cost, $1.54 for lunch. Total cost for breakfast and lunch, $2.92.<p>
Tonight I will be cooking a package of boneless, skinless chicken breasts. The package was $4.85 (I believe. I will confirm at home.) I'll cook all the breasts and put half in freezer bags for another purpose, then will make chicken and noodles; planning to have six servings from this. I previously purchased noodles on sale for $1 a package. So my estimated costs for this pot will be $2.50 for the chicken (estimating high) and $1 for noodles. I'll mix in a can of cream of chicken soup (Aldi's) which I think was 89 cents. So that will be a total cost of $4.39 for six servings, or 73 cents per serving. <p>
I'll also make a pan of cornbread for about a dollar and divide it into six portions. So add another 17 cents for tonight's dinner total of 90 cents.<p>
I'll leave a couple of servings in the refrigerator and three in the freezer to put in rotation so I don't get tired of it before I use it all.<p>
Total for all this day's food will be $3.82. Just under the $4 budget. In review, I think I will add a portion of mixed veggies to the dinner menu. One-sixth of a $1 bag (another 17 cents.) puts me at $3.99. <p>
I'll let you know if that's sufficient.</p>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-86920935805886081292014-09-30T11:25:00.001-05:002014-09-30T12:37:16.828-05:00Greetings, everyone! <p>
I'm reviving my blog after an absence of 3.5 years. Oh my, how is that possible! I guess we can thank Facebook.<p>
Why am I back, then? Well, I'm starting a project tomorrow (Oct. 1, 2014) and Facebook just isn't the right place to write about it. I need a forum that will allow longer-form writing, so here I am, home again.<p>
The project I am undertaking is a challenge to myself to live within the food budget allowed to SNAP participants. I know the amount per-person varies (I've worked for DHS in the past and did a lot of food stamp cases in the dark ages, so I know the variables.) For the purpose of this experiment, the budget I will be using is $4 per day for food. Wow. Will it be tough? You bet. But I have a lot of reasons for wanting to test myself this way.<p>
As I posted on Facebook, I read a newspaper story by a reporter who had decided, with spouse, to attempt to live a week within the SNAP guidelines. The story wrote about how hard it was to stay in that budget and how painful hunger is.<p>
Here is my personal challenge: I want to try this for the month of October, not just a week.<p>
Here are the things I have to work out: I have a lot of food in my home. The more I have thought about this project, the more I realize I could survive a month -- maybe longer -- on my pantry and freezer. But I can't then turn around and say I spent zero dollars and did just fine.<p>
To try to do an honest test, I have decided this will be a two-part experiment. First, I will live on these resources and try to give a honest price to what I use, for however long they last.
After that I will report when I start spending again on food and see how I do with $4 a day.<p>
I welcome anyone who feels led to walk this road with me. I'll post on my blog as we go along.<p>
There are several reasons I feel called to this. First, if we expect the least among us to survive on this amount, I want to know I can, too. Second, if there is information I have or knowledge I gain that could help someone else, I want to share it. Third, this is the harvest season. I am grateful for all I have --in abundance --and I want to be mindful of these gifts and not wasteful. This is one of my biggest sins.<p>
Hope you come back tomorrow and join me on this journey!Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-55104114678053782872011-03-21T18:02:00.002-05:002011-03-21T18:30:51.808-05:00Hi guysIt has been a long and at times difficult six months. I'll give you the nutshell version of events and going forward I'll try to make more frequent updates.<br /><br />I'm still living a frugal life, but in October I had to take out a home equity line of credit to have central heating and air conditioning installed. I had no heat as a result of Bernie's biting of the water line last year about this time, which flooded my house, including the floor furnace.<br /><br />The heating system was a real blessing during this winter -- you know the winter, the one with -25 degrees one day, with 21 inches of snow. And a week later, it was 75 degrees. <br /><br />Well, Mother Nature apparently takes her calendar seriously. Spring sprung this weekend and with it came HEAT. So I decided Saturday to turn on the A/C, and it in turn decided to do ... nothing. No cooling. So on my "to do" list this week is calling the company to have them come do what they need to do to make their system work. Thank ye Jesus for warranties.<br /><br />I'm still nursing my 16-year-old Honda along. I had new tires put on today, but while they were doing that they discovered the bushings on the lower control arms of the rear need to be replaced. I told them to keep the car -- they will get the parts tomorrow to replace those bushings and then go ahead and fix those. I also asked them to make me a running list of the repairs that are yet to come so I can start planning for them. I don't mind keeping my old car as long as I have some confidence in its safety and performance.<br /><br />Now, as to other things going on:<br /><br />During the week of Thanksgiving 2010, my good friend Rita needed to make a trip to Stillwater to have an MRI done to try to determine why she was having pain in her right shoulder and lower back. I went with her to keep her company, and to get an escape from town for the afternoon.<br /><br />Rita had been hurting for a few weeks, and things really deteriorated on this Monday that we made the trip. I had seen in her face how much pain she was trying to cover up during our recent visits, which is why I invited myself along this time. And it is a good thing I did.<br /><br />Things changed dramatically while I was in the waiting room. When she came out, she had to rest before we could go out to the car. I wound up driving us home. She wasn't the same person after she came out of the inner office of the imaging center.<br /><br />On Thanksgiving Day, we went to her mother's house to have dinner with her big family. After we ate, she went off to a bedroom to rest and slept through the rest of the day while the rest of us played cards, visited and watched football. After most of the family left, she broke down and asked her mother and brother if she could have them bring her one of the beds from her mother's house because she was having too much trouble getting into and out of her waterbed. Of course they brought it to her the next day, but this was a defining moment.<br /><br />By Sunday she had had a mammogram and another MRI, and her brother called me Sunday night to tell me they had taken her to the hospital. <br /><br />She was diagnosed with breast and bone cancer. Another friend and I served as witnesses as she signed her power of attorney and medical directive. <br /><br />Before Christmas there was a trip to the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Tulsa for eight days -- various tests; a round of chemo and a trip home just before Christmas. <br /><br />The chemo was brutal. Rita lost her mobility and it was clear she couldn't stay in her house -- the doorways were too narrow and her walker wouldn't fit through the doors. She couldn't safely get up and care for herself.<br /><br />Just after Christmas she returned to the local hospital. It was a horrible, emotional, devastating time for everyone, but the end result was a painful decision not to continue treatment. This was made harder when Rita was unable to remember how that decision was made.<br /><br />Ultimately, she entered hospice care on Jan. 4 and moved from the hospital to a hospice suite in one of the local nursing homes. She has two rooms joined by a tiny, tiny bathroom -- one is a living room with a sofa and a couple of chairs; the other room is her bedroom, what I call her dorm room.<br /><br />Rita and I have been friends since the first day of first grade -- 50 years. I'm about to turn 56 and she's six months younger than I am. Her body is filled with cancer -- the PET scans showed lesions on a large number of her bones and her liver, as well as the tumor in her breast. <br /><br />Generally speaking, patients in Hospice care have a prognosis of six months or less. Of course we have no idea whether Rita will live that long or if she will live considerably longer. At this point, with her pain managed, it is often hard to remember that she is "terminally ill." <br /><br />And besides that, we are having the time of our lives. Stay tuned -- I will bring you more of Rita's story as I can bear to write it. She amazes me. And I can't let her go as long as she has things to teach me.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-24386124670147633592010-09-10T21:18:00.002-05:002010-09-10T21:21:05.329-05:00I'd call this progressThis morning on the way to work I stopped at the ATM to get $20, because on Friday mornings my office has breakfast together. And I figured it was time to get some more cash, since I hadn't been to the machine in over a week.<br /><br />Well. Imagine my delight when I was putting my card and cash back in my wallet and I still had LAST PAYDAY'S $20 in there -- that's from TWO WEEKS ago, folks! <br /><br />That's right. I had money left over because I've been taking my lunch every day, cooking from scratch and mostly ignoring the vending machines at work.<br /><br />It is a lovely feeling!Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-32367466782505551142010-09-06T16:53:00.002-05:002010-09-06T16:56:04.751-05:00Home-made pizza success!After a disasterous recipe for biscuits failed miserably, I needed to get back up on that oven again and come up with some sort of baking success.<br /><br />I was hungry for pizza. And having just read The Tightwad Gazette's recipe for pizza crust, I made it. Here's the recipe in all its perfect, wonderful goodness. MAKE THIS. IT IS GOOD. And besides, you can make the whole pizza for about $2.50 and not have to wait for delivery.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Thick and Chewy pizza dough</span><br />1/2 to 3/4 cup warm water (105 to 115 degrees F)<br />1 package (1 Tablespoon) dry yeast (I use the bulk yeast in the jar -- make sure it's new)<br />1 teaspoon sugar<br />2 cups flour (I used unbleached all purpose)<br />1 Tablespoon vegetable oil (I used olive)<br />1/2 teaspoon salt.<br /><br />Combine 1/4 cup of the water with the yeast and sugar. Stir to dissolve the yeast and let stand until bubbly, about five minutes (Note- I had this in an 8-oz. cup. Use something bigger!)<br /><br />Put the flour, oil and salt into a food processor using the steel blade. and process about 5 seconds.<br /><br />Add the yeast mixture to the flour mixture and process about 10 seconds, or until blended.<br /><br />Turn on the processor (on high) and drizzle just enough of the remaining water through the feed tube so that the dough forms a ball that cleans the side of the bowl. Process so that the ball turns around about 25 times. (Ironically, my processor quit running just at that time...)<br /><br />Put the dough ball on a 14-inch greased pizza pan or large cookie sheet (I used my Pampered Chef cooking stone.) Cover with plastic wrap or a bowl (I just turned the food processor bowl upside down on top of it.) Let it stand 10 minutes.<br /><br />Pat the dough out so that it covers the pan, making a ridge on the edges.<br /><br />Spread with pizza sauce (it doesn't take much) Add cheese and toppings. Bake at 425 degrees F for 15 to 20 minutes or until the crust is golden and the cheese bubbly.<br /><br /><br />I will never order pizza again after making this.<br /><br />As a matter of fact, I'm going to make a hamburger, pepperoni and sauteed onion pizza for tonight's supper.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-22892072718331474992010-09-01T14:21:00.003-05:002010-09-01T14:36:03.560-05:00An updateThings are going very well with the austerity program. This is the end of the first week and I am pleased with the results of being just a bit more conscious of my spending.<br /><br />Of the shopping trip mentioned in my previous post, I have used the ground beef in three meals that consisted of beef patties I broiled and topped with cheese (no buns; don't need the carbs!) I've added a veggie to each from my freezer or pantry stash, not included in the shopping total.<br /><br />In addition, I made a huge pan of "spaghetti pie" on Sunday which has now provided at least six meals. I'm on track to finish the last of it tonight or tomorrow for lunch. Yep, I'm getting to the point where I really can't stand to look at it much longer. I prepared a 9x13-inch pan; my lesson from this is to make two 8x8 pans and freeze one so I don't get so incredibly bored with it! LOL.<br /><br />I've eaten the three peaches as desserts, at a cost of about 25 cents each. Sure beats putting 85 cents in the vending machine for a candy bar, for so many reasons.<br /><br />One more week left until my next payday, and I actually have money left -- a good sum. My phone bill will be the next drafted payment before payday. The other bills will come out of the next paycheck, but I am so well set with groceries that I will only need to make a small purchase, if I have to purchase anything next week at the grocery store.<br /><br />I did make a tiny supplemental trip to Aldi's yesterday and picked up some shortening, a can of corn and celery. Less than $5. The shortening will be used for baking and the corn and celery will go into another casserole that will last a few days. <br /><br />To say I am pleased would be an understatement. I had lunch at Taco Bueno yesterday-- just two bean burritos -- and I got my very first senior discount! So with a drink, lunch was about $3.50. Not as cheap as taking my lunch, but since I needed to run an errand to Aldi's, I'm not upset.<br /><br />In the next week or so, I will have finished paying off a hospital bill to the tune of $300 a month. I will now roll that over to pay my doctor's bill. However, my next major hurdle will be getting a loan so I can have central heat and air put in my house. I need to do this soon, as the season is changing. My floor furnace is kaput and cannot be repaired so replacement and upgrading is my only option. I crippled through the summer with my window air conditioners, but even they are at the end of their useful life. Upgrading will make the house more comfortable, no doubt, and will be value added. I just hate having to pay for it! <br /><br />I will keep you posted as I continue with my plans of eating breakfast at home, taking my lunch to work and then cooking items that will last for several meals. (This will get better as I empty out some freezer space and get to the point where I can freeze and rotate meals instead of eating one thing until I'm sick of it.)Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-26293198987950697362010-08-27T22:00:00.002-05:002010-08-27T22:22:12.676-05:00Austerity is not a dirty wordI've begun the program I'm creating to cut costs, save money and still not feel deprived.<br /><br />Yesterday was payday, which means I finally was able to go to the grocery store again. If you look at my cash register receipt, you might accuse me of shopping hungry and really giving in to pent-up demand. Yes, I was hungry, because I didn't get to the store until well past 7:30 last night after a long day at work. But I made this trip work for me.<br /><br />Yes, there was added work once I got home, wrapping bundles to restock the freezer in the top part of my refrigerator. For a minute I worried that I had overpurchased and wouldn't have room for everything, but careful arranging made everything fit.<br /><br />So, I will share with you my purchases and their prices:<br /><br />Corn meal $1.29<br />Dry milk powder $7.69 (this one surprised me because I have never bought powdered milk before.)<br />Butterscotch pudding mix 99 cents (my treat)<br />Baking powder $1.95<br />Flour $2.69 for five pounds (unbleached, all purpose)<br />Yeast $7.05 (jar)<br />Buttermilk $2.19 (half gallon)<br />Skim milk $1.91 (half gallon)<br />Cottage cheese $2.55<br />1-lb. roll of sausage $2.99<br />Sliced pepperoni $2.05<br />Whole chicken $4.45<br />Boneless pork loin chops $4.21 in saver pack of eight chops<br />Boneless eye of round roast $7.62<br />Eye of round steaks $6.28 for a saver pack of six steaks<br />Ground beef $8.64 in a family pack<br />Pork sirloin roast $3.42<br />Smoked ham hocks $3.56<br />Mini Babybel cheese $3.99 for six<br />Dozen large brown eggs $1.79<br />Butter $3.39<br />Diet Coke $5.00 for four 2-litre bottles; my vice<br />American singles cheese slices $3.29 for 24 slices<br />Shredded taco cheese $2.59<br />Two loaves of whole wheat bread $4<br />Broccoli crowns $1.12<br />Peaches $.77<br />Plums $1.45<br />10-pound bag of potatoes $3.79<br />Strawberries $2.59<br />sweet onions $1.32<br />Tomatoes $1.43<br /><br />And then for the dog:<br />Two bags of Bil-Jac food $6.65 each for $13.30<br />Cool Jac treats $3.71<br />Milkbones $4.15<br />A toy $5.75.<br /><br />With tax, my total was $146.79.<br /><br /><br />For supper last night and tonight, I was pressed for time and needed something mindless and fast so I broiled hamburger patties and topped them with a slice of cheese. <br /><br />Instead of spending 60 cents on a can of Diet Coke, two of my 2-litre bottles have gone to work with me and are living temporarily in the employee fridge. The company provides bagged ice, so I can fill up my travel mug. I calculate I can get at least five drinks for the price of two from the machine. Yeah, I'm not perfect enough to give it up completely, but I am drinking more water in between, hoping someday that maybe I just won't want it. But not yet. As vices go, I don't feel too bad about this one.<br /><br />So over the next few days, as time allows, I'm planning to do a major cooking and baking day, all from scratch. Stay tuned as I share how many meals I get from this shopping trip. I'll let you know what works and what flops, and what I find out about how these prices at my regular store compare to the other stores in my area.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-6527534308875571712010-08-25T14:02:00.002-05:002010-08-25T14:29:18.985-05:00Time for an austerity programI've been reading the three "Tightwad Gazette" books by Amy Dacyzyn (sounds like "decision") the past week or so and I've gleaned a few good ideas and a few good philosophies about spending money. And I'm at a point where some financial belt-tightening is necessary for a while. <br /><br />So, as they say, the place to begin is at the beginning, right? This morning I took a few minutes to look at the "money leaks" in my budget, just to get a rough idea how much money I may be wasting.<br /><br />What brought me to this? I got a notice a week ago that I was overdrawn by $1.05. I was mortified. Part of the cause was that my auto-draft on my car and house insurance payment went up $11 this month after my rates were adjusted for this six-month period. But you know what? I shouldn't have been so close to the margin that $11 would put me in peril.<br /><br />So for the past week, I have spend zero money, other than $15 in coins I found around my house. With that $15, I bought $5 worth of gas so I could get to and from work; $5.90 for groceries; and I held on to the rest. If I can do that for one week, I can certainly plug some other budgetary leaks.<br /><br />I've started by getting online and looking at my bank transactions for the past two months -- I opened a new account and now have online banking with this account so I can check any time I want.<br /><br />I've checked to see how many times I have made cash withdrawals from the ATM-- it was far more often than the once-a-week I *thought* I was doing. Yikes! <br /><br />I also checked to see how many times I was putting "lunch" on my debit card. Again, it was shocking!<br /><br />This week I've been surviving by bringing my lunch and using the items in my pantry and freezer that I've just been looking past. And I'm REALLY looking forward to going to the grocery store tomorrow! With this break in the weather this week, bringing cooler temperatures, I'm thinking of all the inexpensive meals I can fix that will be good for lunches as well as dinners. <br /><br />I've also returned to scanning the coupons for the items I use, then checking the store ads to see where I can get the most bang for my buck. <br /><br />I don't think I'm at the point of washing baggies and aluminum foil to reuse, but I do use my oilcloth lunch bag (with a velcro closure) and tight-sealing containers for my lunch selections.<br /><br />Instead of buying a tuna salad sandwich on a croissant at a downtown cafe, with chips and a drink for almost $8 (outrageous!) I've been making enough tuna salad at home for lunch and supper in one re-sealable container. Figure 69 cents for the tuna, a little more for a squirt of mayo and a spoonful of pickle relish, then whatever the cost of two slices of bread from a 79-cent loaf of bread from the bakery outlet store... you can see I would have saved WAY more than the $1.05 I was overdrawn! On average, lunches out are $6 to $7. <br /><br />Starting tomorrow, I'll post my menus and the cost, plus how many servings they provide for me. And I'll let you know how many of those ATM trips I can cut out, since that cash probably also goes to meals I didn't make. I'll even commit to making a list of any cash purchases to see if I can cut down on my weekly cash allowances just by being aware of what I'm spending.<br /><br />In a month, I'll let you know how this plays out -- whether I'm still walking along the edge of the financial cliff or if I've been able to step back and keep some money in savings.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-40128715907215611632010-08-19T22:53:00.007-05:002010-08-19T23:21:03.928-05:00Bonus post!** Click on the pictures to see the full frame.**<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v38/athometrixie/DSC_0034.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 799px; height: 531px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v38/athometrixie/DSC_0034.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Baby Bernie</span><br /><br /><br />I forgot today's "Bernie" story!<br /><br />This morning I let him in after his morning outside time. I was dressed but still had time to spend a few minutes with him, which usually involves me chasing him around the house, trying to get him into his crate.<br /><br />Well, he was a pretty muddy mess this morning and I was trying to keep him off the furniture, with little success. A couple of muddy swipes on my sofa (NO! NO!)<br />and a pounce on me -- leaving my cute turquoise shirt and black jeans covered with muddy pawprints, dang it!<br /><br />As I was assessing the damage and mentally trying to picture what I would change into, Bernie brought me his leash! Yes! All by himself he got it off the doorknob. Of course, in his excitement to bring it to me, he somehow managed to wrap it around his tail and I nearly choked laughing at his dismay at leading himself around backwards.<br /><br />I couldn't resist his request, and since I did have a little time, we walked to the end of the block (a double block) and back. It made me realize how negligent I've been in continuing that portion of his training. We do really well with our morning exercises of "Sit" "shake" and "down," and he is very good riding in the car, but walking on leash we've neglected. (Bad mommy!)<br /><br />We'll start working on that with some regularity. He did do well with sitting on demand during the walk, but he was pulling too hard to lead me, rather than heeling. Of course I did not have the advantage of putting on h is pinch collar so I didn't have full control with just his regular collar. It's a fingerbreaking exercise to put on the pinch collar and takes far more time than I had this morning. I think that will be reserved for evening walks until we get back into the groove.<br /><br />Not sure when the fall dog training classes begin, but we will be there faithfully again. Bernie is a quick learner and very smart. He just needs more consistent direction and stimulation, so I better get my act together.<br /><br />I think it's also time to schedule him for his first grooming appointment. He could use a good bath, and although I could do that, I also want to get his nails clipped and get a couple of matted areas trimmed. I'm very lucky that mats are few and far between with his type of coat, which is more like hair than fur, for the most part. I miss his puppy softness, but it's still on his face and head. I hope he will be soft again when his winter coat comes back in. His summer coat is still beautiful, with swirling curls parting across his back.<br /><br />Well, he's now asleep in his crate and I should soon be asleep in my bed. He likes to wake me up about 5:30 which is so inconvenient and annoying, since my alarm is set for 7 a.m. Maybe I'll get him a watch to celebrate his first birthday, which was Tuesday. My boy is a whole year old!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Big Boy Bernie</span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v280/Beverlybryant/A%20day%20in%20the%20life%20of%20Beverly%208-9-10/DSC_0067.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 799px; height: 531px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v280/Beverlybryant/A%20day%20in%20the%20life%20of%20Beverly%208-9-10/DSC_0067.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-60666992031566755322010-08-19T20:43:00.003-05:002010-08-19T20:53:24.033-05:00Just sort of floatingI don't quite feel like I'm "in the groove" at the moment. Can't seem to get focused clearly enough to work through the daily tasks -- at least not today. <br /><br />I haven't been feeling great for a couple of weeks, with the weather being SO hot and then the change to cooler, rainy weather. I feel a bit feverish, alternating between chills and sweats, never knowing which will hit next. And it seems that for several days, as soon as I can get out of work, I'm heading home and napping for a couple of hours while Bernie has outside time to run and play. <br /><br />Maybe I'm sick; maybe I'm just having summer stress. I don't know. For several days I was percolating right along, getting things done like gangbusters. <br /><br />It's the nature of the news business, though, to get thrown for a loop by an unexpected story that is, or has the potential to be, a tragic event. And we had one of those here this week. It all ended safely, however. <br /><br />Because of this floating cloud around me, though, tomorrow and Saturday have the potential of being tough days with a ton of stuff being compressed in a short time. Or, there could be magic and things will fall nicely into place, all wrapped up in lace and ribbons. What a lovely dream!<br /><br />You know, I don't really see much of a point in what I've written. Dang, I did just remember something I have to attend right smack in the middle of my day tomorrow.... my thoughts are pulling me back and forth tonight. Maybe I need to send myself an e-mail to the office right now so I don't forget the things that are buzzing in my brain. Then the best course of action may be to go to bed early so I can reboot. Good plan.<br /><br />Good night, all!Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-75126671503529625862010-08-17T12:31:00.002-05:002010-08-17T12:39:50.249-05:00A nice rainy dayI believe the summer heat has broken here in mid-August. The past three days have been much more bearable, and we're getting some rain today. <br /><br />I'm a rain lover. I'll take a wonderful, cool rainy day any time over the blistering heat! It makes me feel more alive and much less likely to turn to dust.<br /><br />I had to trick Bernie again with the leash this morning. It won't be long until that trick loses its effectiveness, and then what will I do? I do feel bad being dishonest with him, but it was a matter of some urgency for me to leave the house earlier today. Work required me to go to the county seat this morning and I dared not be late. <br /><br />Water was deep enough on the road to cause a moment of panic when I hydroplaned for a second near my destination. My fear was compounded by the car that attempted to pass me on the right just as I hit the giant puddle that attacked. Everything turned out just fine, though.<br /><br />I've spent the rest of the morning so far trying to get things scheduled for the next month. Since I've taken over a weekly section of the paper, planning has become a critical matter. My life goes so much easier when I'm not scrambling for a story idea at the last possible moment, hoping I can fill up the cover, let alone the other seven pages of the section. September is a busy month so I have sort of the same problem, but in reverse. I can't have an abundance of material for one week with nothing for the previous week. So, the balancing act begins. Not everyone is happy when I have to re-arrange things, but hey, that's life in the little city. <br /><br />Back to the grind... I'm still not finished putting some order to this all, so I feel a bit uneasy yet. Time keeps moving along, though, no matter what.<br /><br />Hope you've got some weather relief, too. If you do, enjoy it -- go splash in a puddle or just feel the air on your face. It's good for you!Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-33783016949544724032010-08-16T21:20:00.002-05:002010-08-16T21:35:26.067-05:00Fun With BernieI felt bad this morning because I had to trick Bernie into going into his crate when I had to leave.<br /><br />It's a morning ritual that takes a good 30 minutes of our time -- me loping along behind him, trying to convince him to go into the crate. I bribe. I plead. I try to ignore him and fool him into thinking it's his idea. Finally, at some point I catch him off guard just enough to grab him and carry him to the crate. It's exhausting and it's not the way I want it to be, but I've failed at finding a good method that works.<br /><br />This morning it got to be so frustrating that I resorted to THE LEASH. He LOVES to go anywhere and THE LEASH almost always is a guarantee of a fun adventure. <br /><br />So. I get the leash and Bernie goes nuts, dancing around the house and squealing like a little pig. I follow along, actually leading him to his crate, like I'm trying to get hold of him to attach the leash.<br /><br />The ploy works -- for now. We made it to the crate and he was insane enough that I just shoved him right on in.<br /><br />OH NOES! the gnashing of teeth and the wailing of "I've been tricked!" It was almost pitiful and I almost felt sorry for resorting to it, but then remembered how many times my own mom pulled the football out from in front of me when I was about to kick it, a la Lucy and Charlie Brown. Trickery has its place, now and then.<br /><br />All day, though, I carried the burden of my guilt with me, like a St. Bernard lugs its keg of whiskey. I felt I owed Bernie some makeup fun.<br /><br />So tonight I really did put his leash on him and we went for a ride around town, radio and air conditioner blasting. He got to see other people walking other dogs. He squealed with longing to be the one walking. He saw others riding in neighboring cars and they exchanged knowing glances -- kind of like teenagers pulling up to the light at the same time and knowing "Yeah, I could take you."<br /><br />After making a loop around the city, we headed to Sonic, where I pushed the button and Bernie placed his order of "whiiiiiinnnnnnne! whiiiiiiimmmmper!" When the human answered, I placed our "real" order. Two junior deluxe burgers, one plain. A small Diet Coke for me and an ice water for Bernie. He gets the plain burger. I carry a small Rubbermaid container with a screw-on lid which is just the right size for me to put his ice water in. <br /><br />He sits in the back seat and is a very good rider. I let his burger cool down just a bit then spread it out for him. He eats. I eat. He drinks, I drink. It's symbiotic.<br /><br />When we're all done, I screw the lid on the container and we head out to drag the strip one more time. The street lights have come on now and I can only imagine what goes through Bernie's mind as the light and shadow alternately speed by his windows. <br /><br />Finally we make it home and I pull under the carport. When I gather up the cups and open his door, I tell him to wait until I get his leash. He looks around, spots his leash and picks it up with his mouth to hand it to me. Isn't that something? I juggle those icy cups and the leash and pray he doesn't go charging down the street. Tonight I'm lucky and he goes right up the front steps. Then he balks when I get the door unlocked and urge him inside.<br /><br />Seems like he would be real happy to head back down the street. Come on leash, and hold, please! <br /><br />Eventually he remembers that the last step of our adventure is up the steps and in! Yessir! Good boy! Excellent job! <br /><br />I get the door shut and unclip the leash, hanging it on the doorknob for the next adventure -- or trick.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-57490154006773538152010-08-16T00:13:00.003-05:002010-08-16T00:25:58.158-05:00Um, hi. Good to see you again!Wow, six months since my last post! I'm almost embarrassed to post again, but I miss blogging.<br /><br />So much of my time has been sucked away by Facebook. At first I thought it was really great -- to be able to stay in touch with my real-world friends and family so easily. And I still think Facebook is great for that. One post and I can catch everyone up on what's happening in my little world. It's pretty nice to have contact with so many people in such a quick, compact way, with photos or messages or even videos. Honestly? It's very cool. And a real marker of the changes we're going through in this day and age.<br /><br />But. Seriously, it's sort of superficial, isn't it? The games -- and sorry to tell you, friends, but I block all the applications so I'm not buried under your posts about your farm or whatnot. I've still got too much of a life to be buried under that part of Facebook. <br /><br />We just don't get the chance to share the matters of our hearts on Facebook, either. It's not the same as being able to blog. With the blog, we can either do a simple "mind dump" and spill it all out randomly, or we can give it thought and construct thoughtful essays. I've done both.<br /><br />I guess tonight is kind of a "mind dump" sort of night since I've been away so long. I'm sort of hanging out waiting for the late-night laundry to wrap up and for the dishwasher to finish running. I have to unhook the portable dishwasher and turn off the water (reverse that order, please.) I'd also like to get the dishes put away. Fortunately (or not) I slept away most of the day so it won't kill me to be up a bit later tonight.<br /><br />We got a break in the weather today. Not sure what our high was, and really don't care about the number. At one time I think I saw 75. All I know is it was very pleasant, and I actually shut off my air conditioners for a while.<br /><br />Bernie has spent most of the day outside. I think this cool front has made him much more comfortable, too. American Eskimo dogs need to cool down! I wonder if he has any idea that cold weather is just a few months away.<br /><br />I had a great weekend. Friends of mine came to town yesterday to perform at our local historic theater. They are "Hankerin' 4 Hank," a tribute band to Hank Williams Jr. The theater was full and everyone enjoyed a great performance. I was seated front row, center. Loved every minute of it! <br /><br />Time to check up on the appliances. Hope to return soon. Hope someone is out there.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-7581690734974966862010-02-27T10:08:00.002-06:002010-02-27T10:17:34.415-06:00A Saturday Off --Must Be Cleaning Time!Am I a nerd because I'm excited to have a day off to clean house? I think I must be. Or it could be that I've just been stretched so thin lately that I can really enjoy a domestic day at home. <br /><br />Ahhhh home. I miss it. This house I'm in is not "HOME" to me. It's just a too-small house where I keep my dog and come to sleep. Pitiful! I guess I have two choices: I can make this "HOME" or I can move. And at the moment, as much as I would love to, I'm just not up for a move. I don't have the energy or the money to find a more suitable dwelling.<br /><br />It's kind of like being a hermit crab, y'know? This house just doesn't fit any more, but it's the one I have so I have to make it work for now.<br /><br />I'm starting today with a good cleaning. Maybe I'll be able to displace some of the "stuff" that is crowding me. I started yesterday by returning Bernie's first crate to the woman who loaned it to me. He outgrew it, and another good friend let me borrow a bigger crate. So now I've returned the small one that was in my room -- it's left a clean spot on the bedroom rug and I need to match the rest of the room to it.<br /><br />I've also got to gather up laundry. My fancy-dancy front-loading washer has been breaking down on me and I can't afford to call the repairman, so I've been hauling my stuff to the laundromat where I can get it all clean at one time. There are advantages to that! Also some drawbacks with the hoisting and the lifting and the carrying and the watching my machines like a hawk thing. <br />But I usually have been doing it once every week to week and a half, and there are things I do enjoy about the exercise. I get to catch up on my reading -- some enforced down time. That's always good.<br /><br />Bernie has left me a lot of shredded paper around the house to pick up. He loves all kinds of paper. Fortunately most of it is Kleenexes he's managed to steal. I'm getting much better about keeping the important stuff out of his reach.<br /><br />Well, now I'm all warmed up and inspired, so I better get on with the cleaning process. The mood and opportunity don't come together often enough, so EXCELSIOR!Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-53673061802566083602010-02-23T16:27:00.003-06:002010-02-23T16:39:28.932-06:00Hello, Fellow Travelers!It's been a good long while since I posted. I can only blame work, exhaustion and Bernie. Oh, yeah, and Facebook.<br /><br />Yep, Facebook is the place where I post most of my trivial thoughts these days. It's also where I have the kind of three-second interactions that make us believe we're REALLY connected and staying in touch. But there's a good part of me that doesn't really believe it. At least I hope that our personal connections are worthy of more than three-second posts. I think we're worth more than that, don't you?<br /><br />Anyway, I don't know if anyone still comes around. I did get a call from my friend Buddie, who reads but never posts a response. And I apologize here that I haven't called back, Buddie. I will.<br /><br />It has been an interesting season, this winter. Especially this month of February. I've had countless banquets to attend, including one tonight for the Teacher of the Year being held by the school district. I've been to some awards banquets where I've actually won some awards for my work. That's been very nice -- but I have to say the quality of banquet food this year has varied WIDELY from pretty yummy to totally inedible. There was one banquet where none of the meals served were eaten because the entree was tough enough to make shoes for all the Haitian children. (Not my line, but it certainly describes that tough hunk of beef that probably got recycled.) <br /><br />The best news of late is that Bernie the Wonder Eskimo Dog and I started dog training classes last night. He is a whiz! A genius! He really did so well and I am very proud. He can do "Heel!" and "Sit!" like a champion. I look forward to practicing with him more. I'm also a little sore today from spending an hour walking around the armory listening to the instructors who had us practice these two commands. I didn't think about me getting so much exercise from Bernie's class! <br /><br />In the "Nothing New" category, I'm still working far more hours than I would like, but kind of feel like it's a hopeless fact of life. I daydream about calling in and taking a few days off to hibernate in a quiet hotel with clean sheets, a TV with cable and room service. All I want to do is sleep and turn into a sofa spud, just for a little while! <br /><br />I am looking forward to spring's arrival in the near future. We've had way more snow here in north central Oklahoma than usual. One nice thing is that the weather provides plenty of excuses for dreaming of a new life in the spring. The anticipation is pretty nice. What will it be? A vacation? A new flower garden? (Not with Bernie around!) Will I finally paint the kitchen and dining room? <br /><br />We'll see how it all turns out. Maybe I'll just buy some new stretchy pants after all these banquets!Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-750286218040386462009-12-09T16:05:00.002-06:002009-12-09T16:18:53.355-06:00Bernie is bigger!Yesterday we had our second vet appointment. He has doubled in size in the past month, up to around 15 pounds. Hard to get a precise weight yesterday because he was feisty on the scales.<br /><br />We had to wait an hour after we arrived for our appointment because a woman came in with a dog in distress. She was giving birth and one of the puppies got stuck. The vet had to do an emergency C-section on the dog; fortunately, all five puppies were delivered safely, alive.<br /><br />I was a little crushed when the doctor insisted on securing payment before agreeing to do the surgery. That was $400 -- an expense the owner wasn't expecting and could not have anticipated. She was able to call a friend and a sister who were able to help her scrape together what she didn't have on hand. Still, I wonder if the vet would have turned her away and let the dog and puppies die! The good news is everything turned out fine.<br /><br />After our wait, the vet was still tied up with the momma dog so the assistant just scooped Bernie up and took him back to the surgery room for his shot, and returned with him in just a couple of minutes. He got to see the new puppies and the mom that he had been hearing. Too bad he couldn't tell me about his adventure! <br /><br />Just before we left the house for his appointment, Bernie managed to pull a Houdini move and wiggled his way out of the back yard again. He was sitting on the front porch -- this is the second time he's pulled that and the third escape to date. The middle time he ran down the street a few houses. I'm starting to think he may have a "girlfriend" in the neighborhood. Even if he doesn't know exactly what they are for. So he was muddy and messy when we went to see the doctor. Great impression... good thing most of the dirt falls off his coat.<br /><br />Bernie also got an antihistamine when we got home because he had a reaction to his first shots. I know he got a good nap in while I went to get my hair done. <br /><br />I eased my trauma of the day with a mocha latte at the local bookstore/coffee bar and picked up a copy of a book I've been hunting for a while. The weather has turned dramatically colder, so I hope to stay home tonight, heat up some soup I made in the crockpot yesterday, and veg out with the book. One thing I will never run short of is reading material. <br /><br />My goal for this season is to sort through all my magazines and recycle everything possible from the stacks and stashes in the house. They must go! But you know how you always fear throwing out that ONE magazine that might have incredibly important or useful information! I've got two weeks to flip through and make sure I didn't use a $20 as a bookmark in any of them. Santa won't come until the magazines are GONE. <br /><br />I'm about ready to bundle up and head for the house. I'm supposed to stay for another 45 minutes but I somehow am not feeling so inclined to do so. <br /><br />Hope you're all fairing well with winter and the stresses that come with December. Stay warm!Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-32658942559916069342009-11-10T19:21:00.002-06:002009-11-10T19:30:04.809-06:00A progress reportBernie -- that's Mr. Woodward Bernstein Bryant -- now weighs 8.8 pounds and had his first round of puppy shots yesterday.<br /><br />Unfortunately, he did have a bit of a reaction and I had to get him an antihistamine from the vet today. It is effective at knocking him out, so I should sleep well tonight -- and so should he.<br /><br />Since I got Bernie, I've been crashing much earlier in the evening. I feel like an old woman, but lately I'm in bed by 8:30 on most nights. It's almost 7:30 now, and I would be happy to turn in right now. Makes me feel like I don't have a life, in some aspects. In other ways, however, life is opening up again.<br /><br />Bernie is smart and strong. He learns new things every day and accomplishes new stages of development.<br /><br />Over the weekend I worked out in the yard quite a bit, with his help. I was pruning limbs and he helped take the sticks to the brush pile. He's such a good helper! <br /><br />Once we get past his need to nip at me every waking second we're together, I think things will be much better. Most of my gashes are healing nicely.<br /><br />Next time I'll post some new photos -- my card is not handy or I'd download them now. Soon -- I promise!Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-68313674704477224772009-09-17T19:49:00.004-05:002009-09-17T19:56:19.617-05:00OMG I have a new puppy!!!Or rather I will have a new puppy in a couple of weeks. He came to my office today with a couple of nice ladies, along with one of his brothers. <br />I'm taking suggestions for his name (looking for a name that would be appropriate for a journalist's dog.) Feel free to leave your favorite in the comments section.<br /><br />Here's his photo. Isn't he wonderful??? <i>I have a new puppy!!!</i><br /><br /><a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v280/Beverlybryant/?action=view¤t=IMG_4873.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v280/Beverlybryant/IMG_4873.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-39716932056924687582009-09-13T19:18:00.002-05:002009-09-13T19:27:59.294-05:00Progress! Yes, it continues!My kitchen is in pretty good shape. Dishes washed -- all but a very few -- countertop clear and clean. Food cabinet cleared out. I've even cleaned things I plan to put in a garage sale. <br /><br />Now I'm working on my bedroom. This evening I've flipped and turned the mattress, dusted the nightstands, put on a clean mattress pad and linens, and swiffered under the bed. Somehow one pillowcase wasn't folded into the sheet set so I have to find it.<br /><br />I'm also clearing out the magazines. I just found a Halloween issue of Country Living on my hope chest. I thought it was last year's issue, but NO. It is from ... 2004. Three years before I moved here! GAH! I've been working on clearning out magazines for a couple of months, taking an armload to work to recycle every couple of weeks or so. Looks like I still have some work to do on that front! At least I have slowed the incoming magazines by not renewing subscriptions and not making impulse buys. I am an absolute sucker for magazines -- or should I say, I am an absolute sucker for magazine cover photos. I love the pretty pictures! <br /><br />There has been a lot of clearing out in my house over the past week or two and it is good. Last night I cleared years of old paperwork off the dining table. Still more work to do there, but I am so pleased to release this clutter.<br /><br />And yesterday I mowed the lawn. It took me just an hour to do both the front and back yards, and I was taking the mower back to the garage as the first raindrop fell.<br /><br />I was rewarded with a hot shower, a good solid nap, and then dinner with old friends. All in all, a nice day, considering I worked from 9 to 2. <br /><br />Today I made another step and visited a new church. I was so pleased to find a church that had all the best qualities of my former church in Oklahoma City. I will definitely visit again, but I also hope to visit some other churches.<br /><br />Back to the mucking out. More to do tonight before I go to bed. Hope your Sunday has been a good one.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-64228356454696453512009-09-08T01:10:00.003-05:002009-09-08T01:20:34.900-05:00Getting ReadyFollowing up on my last post -- I've made a list and checked off most of it this weekend, slowly but with determination, as I've had the energy to do it. <br /><br />Time-wise, I'm a little off kilter from not working for five days (combination of illness and the long weekend, which, for once, I had off.) My sleep schedule has been thrown off from sleeping late and napping when I needed to do it. <br /><br />However, I've made some good progress in the paring-down department. Unintended, I wound up cleaning out 2/3 of my canned food because it was out-of-date. I was stunned. Some of it expired before I ever moved here, two years ago. What's left now fits on one shelf of the cupboard and I will be keeping a careful eye on iy, making sure I use it before it expires, too. And I've learned I don't need to stock up on things I won't use right away. I can buy what I need, when I need it.<br /><br />I've made grand progress on cleaning my kitchen, with the dishes 97 percent clean (I found some crystal pitchers and stuff when I unpacked some of those boxes and those still need to be cleaned.) Stuff like that also will be going in a garage sale or charity donation within the next month -- one way or the other. I won't wait forever to have a garage sale. If it works out, and I make a buck, great. If not, I'll donate this clutter and get it out of here and feel free and wealthy knowing I don't have to hoard things. They do not make me happy and I do not need to surrender my space to things I do not love.<br /><br />I should go to bed now because I don't exactly know what I'll be facing tomorrow when I return to work. I have a very negative vibe about it -- I hope I am wrong and that things are just back to business as usual. I'll keep you posted.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-91240120638585638372009-09-05T14:45:00.003-05:002009-09-05T15:05:33.382-05:00Slowed, but making progressI've been slowed down by illness this week, missing work on Thursday and Friday. I had a very few minutes here and there to do a couple of loads of laundry and a little tidying up after my sick self -- certainly not the progress I have wanted to make. <br /><br />Today, I still am not back full steam, but I'm at the point of MAKING myself move out of necessity. I had to get out to the pharmacy today to get my insulin refilled because they will be closed on Monday and I'll need my new supplies before then. <br /><br />However, I've made some huge, major progress today, too. I went through four boxes that have been stacked in the corner of my kitchen since I moved in two years ago. These were boxes that my friends packed for me at my old house, so I wasn't sure what I would find once I got into them.<br /><br />Amazingly, I found myself.<br /><br />I found the self who, on a day's notice, picked up and moved to New York for two months on a fellowship while I was in graduate school. I found the photos I took there; the work I did while at United Media Enterprises. Good stuff. Stuff I am still proud of 25 years later. OMG, did I just write 25 years??? OMG!<br /><br />I found photos from a trip to Florida to go deep-sea fishing in 1997. Another memorable trip on the Emerald Coast -- not just because of the seasickness while we were out on the boat, but the incredible restorative powers of the white sand and blue-green water. Incredible.<br /><br />And I found photos from the most incredible trip I ever took, to Switzerland, in 1997. I cannot begin to describe any part of it -- the beauty, the scenery, the society and culture. I could not do it justice in a blog post. <br /><br />Most of all, I would be ill equipped to describe a deep personal change that took place one night during that trip. Briefly, I had gone out one night after our tour of the day was finished, just to walk and take in more of the city. I tend to wander alone when I travel because I gain so much from it.<br /><br />I stopped at a sidewalk cafe for a "Coke Light" so I could watch the people and just enjoy the night. One of my traveling companions happened to find me there a few minutes later -- an older man who was on the trip recording a radio program.<br /><br />He stopped to visit with me and we had a profound conversation -- rather, he talked and I listened. He said he had been observing various people on the trip, me included, and wondered what the burden was that I was carrying around with me. He said that although we had only know each other for the few days we were on the trip, he sensed great potential that was being held back by an unresolved sorrow. <br /><br />I started to laugh it off as some conversation starter -- not quite a pickup line, not quite the hocus-pocus of a fortune teller. But he persisted, saying that one of his gifts was discernment, a gift he had from being the seventh son of a seventh son. <br /><br />It might still have been idle conversation, but it unlocked a truth in me that I had been suppressing. Family concerns had kept me from going as far as I might have, even with these occasional mountaintop moments. In fact, it was just a matter of weeks after this trip that my brother died and my mother began her final journey over the next couple of years.<br /><br />Today's rediscovery of those bits and pieces of my past also hammer home to me that I may have had unfinished business a couple of years ago when I moved back to my hometown, but that is long finished and it is time for me to move on to my own next chapter. <br /><br />Recently my boss, in anger, told me that my opinion on a matter wasn't welcome, and if I didn't like it, I didn't have to be here.<br /><br />Truer words were never spoken. It's time for me not to be here.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7929374.post-6813529494278838672009-09-01T23:59:00.002-05:002009-09-02T00:18:42.430-05:00Digging In to Dig Myself OutI started writing this in response to Tech's blog post tonight. His struggles are some that really resonate with me right now -- health issues/insurance inadequacies; feeling like our life's sparks have been burned down to embers and not being able to find our inner selves. <br /><br />When I get in this state, I recognize now that it is reflected in my environment. Not sure which comes first, the chicken or the egg -- or the shattered sense of self or the mess. I know not everyone lives this way, so what I'm writing may or may not resonate with you.<br /><br />I am fighting my way out of this quicksand that is so ready to swallow us up. One tiny project at a time. Tonight I realized my house was looking like one of those houses on hoarding shows that are so disgusting you wonder how anyone can live like that. Then I realized -- I CAN'T live like that. Not any more. So I watched one of the episodes of the A&E show Hoarders online (since I can't @#$@#$ afford cable to watch it on TV). <br /><br />While I watched, I filled up two trash sacks with junk. I've put all my current mail in one place. Small baby steps for me. But then I realized I also made some steps over the past several days by working on my kitchen and bathroom -- I just didn't realize that I was systematically starting on this mission already.<br /><br />This has been a longtime struggle for me. Over the years I've battled this with the help of FlyLady (www.flylady.net) and SHE (Sidetracked Home Executives.) It's one of those things that keeps coming back to dance with me, though. <br /><br />Like the people in the hoarding shows, I start finding myself making excuses for all the clutter around me. The yarn? It's so I can knit prayer shawls for people who need comfort or emotional support during a tough time. The fabric? I'm making a lot of my own clothes, but I also have big plans for making quilts for some of my friends. No, I haven't made any progress on that in three or four years, oh, but I will. And I have other fabric that's for making pillowcases for children with cancer, from another project I thought would be great to take on. Oh yes, I also have boxes of pillowcases that other people have sent me for this project. And a big stack of pillow cases that need to be washed, ironed and packaged for the project. <br /><br />Then there is my laundry, piled up on the couch. Some needs to be folded and put away; some needs to be ironed. Some needs to be sorted to give to charity ... or to have a garage sale which I have been planning to have for two years and likely never will, because I can't be certain that I'll have a Saturday off to have one. (Lots of excuses, do you hear them all?)<br /><br />Then there's a big black garbage bag that is filled with 2-liter plastic bottles that I have washed out to take to Wal-Mart to recycle. They are ready to go, next to a stack of other miscellany for that garage sale. There's also a box of books for the garage sale -- if they don't sell, I'll take them to the Friends of the Library for its ongoing sale, of course. Oh, and there's some shoes that I've been meaning to take to a co-worker who wears the same size. These are all heels which are too tall for me, but she might wear them or find someone else to give them to.<br /><br />ENOUGH. I have had ENOUGH. I cannot live like this any more. All this stuff has to leave my house, and I mean NOW. Labor Day weekend is coming up in a few days, and this stuff better not be around come Tuesday morning. <br /><br />I need to make some big changes in my life -- things like changing jobs and moving to a place that inspires me and draws me to be more fully alive. I can't make that next move with all of this JUNK weighing me down. I am at that point in my life when I need to live a leaner, cleaner, lighter life. This stuff does not define who I am, and it does not add one ounce of joy to my life. <br /><br />Stay tuned for the Great Clean-Out 2009. And I'll try to tell you the rest of the story about why this came to the forefront today.Trixiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04405956286050242058noreply@blogger.com2