Last night's storms got a bit ferocious around here. We had some serious damage, less than a half-mile from my house.
And I slept through it.
There's a chance that the storms included a funnel cloud or two, based on what some people say they saw. But since it happened around midnight, it is difficult to say that those reports are reliable. Whether tornadic or straight winds, the damage was ferocious. There's a defined area that suffered heavy losses of old, old trees (which fell on houses and cars).
We got about 4.25 inches of rain in a 24-hour period, which brought with it localized flooding, too.
The winds, in whatever form they attacked, overturned vehicles, took roofs off a couple of houses, downed an electric transmission line, blew some structures off their foundations, destroyed carports and garages and generally caused mayhem. They even sent porta-potties scattering downtown.... yeah, nice landscaping!
Residents of the most affected areas came up with the same description over and over: It looked like a war zone.
I drove through the hardest-hit areas this morning and tend to agree with them. I have seen more damage, after an Oklahoma City ice storm and of course during the May 3, 1999 Oklahoma City tornado that went on for miles and miles.
You know what? That doesn't matter a bit to the people here who wound up with trees coming through their roofs and crushing their cars. Their losses are enormous.
I'll tell you a little secret, too. One of the people I interviewed this morning was a man I had known all through school, clear back to kindergarten. In fact, he was the first person I ever called on the telephone. After I watched a tow truck right his travel trailer (it had crushed an SUV when the winds flipped it on its side) I told him how good it was to see him, though I wished it had been under better circumstances.
His response: "Does it really matter, so long as you have the chance to get together again?"
Profound words from someone who has figured out what's really important in life.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
One of those days
This has been one of those yuck days you'd like to be able to scrub off of yourself -- using sandpaper if necessary. Things just aren't sitting right.
We had great thunderstorms last night, so getting up was hard this morning. Then I got to work and found that my co-worker has marked the work calendar to take off the next four Saturdays. That would oblige me to work four Saturdays in a row -- I can't quite see myself working four weeks with just four days off, so I mentioned it to my boss, who agreed that was perhaps not the best plan.
Annnnnd then, the co-worker's dog died at lunchtime, so that discussion is off the table for a bit. I'm so sorry for her because I've met her dog, and it was a cool dog. And I know exactly what it's like to lose a beloved pet especially when a parent is sick, as hers is.
I'm trying not to be or sound heartless, but we've spent the past year trying our best to make accommodations while she has taken care of her mother, who has cancer and other health problems. We cover when she's had to drive to Oklahoma City for chemo sessions or when she's had to take time off for medical appointments and procedures. But there's not been even the smallest glimmer of gratitude -- rather, it's been more a parade of her misplaced rage that we've been handed in return.
I've been there and I know how isolating and overwhelming it is to be the caretaker for a sick parent, 24/7. I hope I wasn't without gratitude for the help I did get and the friends who helped support me during that time. If I neglected to thank anyone, I am sorry. I want you to know I wouldn't have made it through without you.
The day was rainy, off and on, which I love. I especially love rainy mornings and thunderboomers at night. We've got more tonight, so I will sleep well again.
Not much going on here because of that weather. I crashed hard on the bed when I got home and slept for a couple of hours. I've been daydreaming about a vacation, but that's all it's going to be with doctor and hospital bills being what they are. I might have a weekend trip to my aunt and uncle's farm in Missouri when the weather is consistently cooler. We'll play it by ear.
There's some nice thunder right now so I think I'll hit the sack and call it a night. I have not been feeling well for a while, so I know that has added to my limited patience. That's a sign I need to withdraw and sleep. Night, all!
We had great thunderstorms last night, so getting up was hard this morning. Then I got to work and found that my co-worker has marked the work calendar to take off the next four Saturdays. That would oblige me to work four Saturdays in a row -- I can't quite see myself working four weeks with just four days off, so I mentioned it to my boss, who agreed that was perhaps not the best plan.
Annnnnd then, the co-worker's dog died at lunchtime, so that discussion is off the table for a bit. I'm so sorry for her because I've met her dog, and it was a cool dog. And I know exactly what it's like to lose a beloved pet especially when a parent is sick, as hers is.
I'm trying not to be or sound heartless, but we've spent the past year trying our best to make accommodations while she has taken care of her mother, who has cancer and other health problems. We cover when she's had to drive to Oklahoma City for chemo sessions or when she's had to take time off for medical appointments and procedures. But there's not been even the smallest glimmer of gratitude -- rather, it's been more a parade of her misplaced rage that we've been handed in return.
I've been there and I know how isolating and overwhelming it is to be the caretaker for a sick parent, 24/7. I hope I wasn't without gratitude for the help I did get and the friends who helped support me during that time. If I neglected to thank anyone, I am sorry. I want you to know I wouldn't have made it through without you.
The day was rainy, off and on, which I love. I especially love rainy mornings and thunderboomers at night. We've got more tonight, so I will sleep well again.
Not much going on here because of that weather. I crashed hard on the bed when I got home and slept for a couple of hours. I've been daydreaming about a vacation, but that's all it's going to be with doctor and hospital bills being what they are. I might have a weekend trip to my aunt and uncle's farm in Missouri when the weather is consistently cooler. We'll play it by ear.
There's some nice thunder right now so I think I'll hit the sack and call it a night. I have not been feeling well for a while, so I know that has added to my limited patience. That's a sign I need to withdraw and sleep. Night, all!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Fighting the yard
It was so much easier tonight, my struggle with the yard. I just mowed the front yard and it took me about 40 minutes, I would say. It wasn't terribly thick, but the grass had put up a bunch of those Y-shaped seed heads, so it looked bad.
It would be great if I had a weed eater or edger, but I do the best I can with the tools I have.
Last week was a huge struggle with the back yard. It had gotten both long and THICK, and the mower would die after a few strips and not restart until the following day. All in all, it took me four days to get it all done. Last Sunday I finished the last of it and actually was able to go over the whole lawn once more to even it all out. It still looks OK tonight, so I didn't "sweat" mowing it again. (hahaha).
I did spy a patch I missed next to the peonies, so I will have to get after it sometime this week, and do another once-over the whole yard just to keep a grip on things. I cannot let it get out of control again.
With each mowing, I've also been hauling limbs and branches to the alley to be picked up. There are a lot of trash trees around the property, and a lot of fallen branches from the huge oaks in the front yard with some of our recent heavy weather. I wish I could afford to hire someone with a chain saw and a truck to take them all out at once and haul them to the dump, but that is definitely NOT in the budget with all the medical bills I have sitting on my desk. I hate to think how bad it would be with a more serious medical condition!
Anyway, I keep chipping away at it, while it keeps growing back. I hold on to the truth that fall will come in the next couple of months and this foolishness will pause for a while. If I had the energy I would love to plant some fall flowers -- mums and pansies. I'm just not at all sure I can do it any more.
Whether or not I mow in the next day or so, I will have to get the Round Up out again and spray the patio before it is lost to the elements forever.
Aha! I just heard some thunderboomers moving in, and the windows just shook! I got the front yard just in time. I will sleep well tonight, no doubt. Here's hoping you do, too!
It would be great if I had a weed eater or edger, but I do the best I can with the tools I have.
Last week was a huge struggle with the back yard. It had gotten both long and THICK, and the mower would die after a few strips and not restart until the following day. All in all, it took me four days to get it all done. Last Sunday I finished the last of it and actually was able to go over the whole lawn once more to even it all out. It still looks OK tonight, so I didn't "sweat" mowing it again. (hahaha).
I did spy a patch I missed next to the peonies, so I will have to get after it sometime this week, and do another once-over the whole yard just to keep a grip on things. I cannot let it get out of control again.
With each mowing, I've also been hauling limbs and branches to the alley to be picked up. There are a lot of trash trees around the property, and a lot of fallen branches from the huge oaks in the front yard with some of our recent heavy weather. I wish I could afford to hire someone with a chain saw and a truck to take them all out at once and haul them to the dump, but that is definitely NOT in the budget with all the medical bills I have sitting on my desk. I hate to think how bad it would be with a more serious medical condition!
Anyway, I keep chipping away at it, while it keeps growing back. I hold on to the truth that fall will come in the next couple of months and this foolishness will pause for a while. If I had the energy I would love to plant some fall flowers -- mums and pansies. I'm just not at all sure I can do it any more.
Whether or not I mow in the next day or so, I will have to get the Round Up out again and spray the patio before it is lost to the elements forever.
Aha! I just heard some thunderboomers moving in, and the windows just shook! I got the front yard just in time. I will sleep well tonight, no doubt. Here's hoping you do, too!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Driving into the darkness
About 8:30 tonight I felt an overwhelming need to hop in the car and head to Sonic for a cold drink. I was also suffering from RSS -- restless spirit syndrome -- so after getting my cherry diet Coke I headed down the road to the highway and turned east.
As soon as I crossed the river bridge into Osage County -- which is also the Osage Nation Reservation -- I knew I was bound to fly through the darkness. The sun was setting to my back and the lights around me became fewer and farther between, until at last I passed the last green glows of farmhouse security lights and entered the total darkness of ranchland.
Every once in a while I'd encounter another car, but in the state's largest county with a small population, speed limits mean nothing and they soon disappeared into the blackness.
There's a freedom to being on the road, alone, in the night, especially on a weeknight when such foolishness is neither expected or well-tolerated by others. Yeah, I didn't much care. I was free and left my tiny boxed-in world behind for an hour or two.
Even though I couldn't see them after night sunk around me, I knew there were other beings out there in the rolling hills and tall grass. There are miles and miles of cattle ranches -- you can't always see the cattle but the nose never deceives you when they are out there somewhere.
And I know of ranchers out there who keep herds of wild mustangs -- caretakers of the animals for the Bureau of Land Management. Hundreds, if not thousands, of untamed female horses (females only, to keep the populations under control) running wild and free. I may not be a mustang but I felt myself a kindred spirit with them as I followed the white line into the night.
Eventually I reached the end of my leash in a small town. Nothing there to see at night with all the stores buttoned up. I made a turn-around in the parking lot of a dollar store. Like a stone flinging from a slingshot I headed back through the darkness, less alone than before.
In the distance, I wondered how I had missed so many street lights lining the way; then as I got closer, I realized the "street lights" were really groups of cattle trucks bouncing along in convoy to some of the large cattle ranches. Their lights were arrayed in a single line because they were around a long curve and up an incline from me.
Two or three groups of trucks passed as I made my return. Not all were cattle trucks. I imagine some were from the major retailer in the area -- Wal-Mart -- and I felt a tinge of sadness as I imagined others were moving trucks taking families from my town and transplanting them to our rival city. There's a lot of bad blood between my town and the oil company that is shipping out 750 jobs. It was easy to forget that in the darkness, until the trucks rolled by.
Crossing back through the ranchland I noticed the sky was not quite all black as I headed west. There was a swath of navy blue just above the horizon, the last hint of any light from the day. And then, in a moment, even that was gone.
The next lights I saw were from the refinery -- the lone piece of the oil company that we've been told will stay here. I'm not alone when I say we have our doubts about how long that promise will be kept. Word is that in a couple of weeks we'll hear something different on that front.
The refinery torches have always been a marker on the prairie -- a nightlight for the town, showing travelers the way home from dozens of miles in any direction.
If the refinery leaves, too, I want to tell the town there's nothing to be afraid of in the dark. Come out and see.
As soon as I crossed the river bridge into Osage County -- which is also the Osage Nation Reservation -- I knew I was bound to fly through the darkness. The sun was setting to my back and the lights around me became fewer and farther between, until at last I passed the last green glows of farmhouse security lights and entered the total darkness of ranchland.
Every once in a while I'd encounter another car, but in the state's largest county with a small population, speed limits mean nothing and they soon disappeared into the blackness.
There's a freedom to being on the road, alone, in the night, especially on a weeknight when such foolishness is neither expected or well-tolerated by others. Yeah, I didn't much care. I was free and left my tiny boxed-in world behind for an hour or two.
Even though I couldn't see them after night sunk around me, I knew there were other beings out there in the rolling hills and tall grass. There are miles and miles of cattle ranches -- you can't always see the cattle but the nose never deceives you when they are out there somewhere.
And I know of ranchers out there who keep herds of wild mustangs -- caretakers of the animals for the Bureau of Land Management. Hundreds, if not thousands, of untamed female horses (females only, to keep the populations under control) running wild and free. I may not be a mustang but I felt myself a kindred spirit with them as I followed the white line into the night.
Eventually I reached the end of my leash in a small town. Nothing there to see at night with all the stores buttoned up. I made a turn-around in the parking lot of a dollar store. Like a stone flinging from a slingshot I headed back through the darkness, less alone than before.
In the distance, I wondered how I had missed so many street lights lining the way; then as I got closer, I realized the "street lights" were really groups of cattle trucks bouncing along in convoy to some of the large cattle ranches. Their lights were arrayed in a single line because they were around a long curve and up an incline from me.
Two or three groups of trucks passed as I made my return. Not all were cattle trucks. I imagine some were from the major retailer in the area -- Wal-Mart -- and I felt a tinge of sadness as I imagined others were moving trucks taking families from my town and transplanting them to our rival city. There's a lot of bad blood between my town and the oil company that is shipping out 750 jobs. It was easy to forget that in the darkness, until the trucks rolled by.
Crossing back through the ranchland I noticed the sky was not quite all black as I headed west. There was a swath of navy blue just above the horizon, the last hint of any light from the day. And then, in a moment, even that was gone.
The next lights I saw were from the refinery -- the lone piece of the oil company that we've been told will stay here. I'm not alone when I say we have our doubts about how long that promise will be kept. Word is that in a couple of weeks we'll hear something different on that front.
The refinery torches have always been a marker on the prairie -- a nightlight for the town, showing travelers the way home from dozens of miles in any direction.
If the refinery leaves, too, I want to tell the town there's nothing to be afraid of in the dark. Come out and see.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
We need to talk
And what we need to talk about is prayer.
Some interesting things have been happening this week as a result of a revival at my church. I'm spending a good chunk of time thinking on them in my heart.
The evangelist for our revival was a man named Wesley Putnam. He's a fine musician, a fun story teller and all that. But most important, he's a man with a caring heart. (See his site at www.wesleyputnam.org)
Here is something I need to share with you.
The revival started a week ago Sunday with the morning sermon. I had about made up my mind that I wasn't going to come back for the evening services because Wesley talked about raising our children to know Jesus. Having no children, and having a bit of an attitude, I was having none of it. Until Sunday night, when I went back for the church supper and the evening service, despite myself.
And you know that God worked on my head as well as my heart. I wound up going to all the evening services, Sunday through Wednesday.
Tuesday night we had a really severe storm. I left the office at six after hearing a lot of sheriff's department traffic on the scanner talking about the severe weather with rotation west of town, heading my way. I walked out the door and was hit by the deluge. My umbrella turned inside out in the 10 steps from the door to my car. I struggled to get in the car and get the door shut.
I pondered skipping revival but dismissed the thought, mostly because the church was closer than my house. I drove the four blocks over to the church and sat in the parking lot for a few minutes because it was raining so hard. I couldn't see anything once I parked -- none of the cars that I knew were there from when I pulled in, none of the houses in the neighborhood, nothing but sheets of rain.
The wind was blowing at about 70 miles an hour -- enough to start rocking my car. I was afraid it could flip the car the way it was getting underneath and lifting it. So I decided to make a run for it. I thought I would be a lot safer if I could make it across the street and into the church.
Well, the wind nearly knocked me down and the rain was coming down in sheets, soaking me to the bone. The water that ran through the street was already knee-deep on me. I made it to the steps before my umbrella was destroyed. I looked like I stood in the shower in my clothes.
I was able to grab a sandwich in the fellowship hall and stood under the blower in the rest room to dry myself enough so I wasn't dripping. I was still completely wet, but at least things weren't clinging to me -- too much.
The revival service was pretty remarkable. But it's what happened later that really made an impact. I met up with my friend, who is the organist, after the service and we started talking. She's always been very sympathetic to me and truly is concerned about me, unlike anyone else in this town.
We were the last two in the sanctuary as we talked, and I rode in the elevator with her. It's a brand new elevator, but it moved incredibly slowly while we talked. We got a lot said before it made it down one floor.
Well.... the door opened on my floor and we stood there, face to face with Wesley, the evangelist who was doing the services. He was still wearing the costume of his character from his presentation. Sue, the organist, said "Wesley, this young woman is at a crossroads. I need for you to talk to her." And with that she pulled him into the elevator. The door closed and then the back door (into the sanctuary) reopened and we went to talk.
He listened to me -- really listened, as I summarized briefly what the last two years have been like. He acknowledged that I am a wounded soul. I told him how much I miss my friends, my old church and the fracture there, and my life before I moved here.
He agreed that it sounded like my life is there. And he told me that when he has been in similar situations, his best advice was to "follow the peace."
I immediately was struck with the release of tension throughout my body. He held my hands and prayed with me and told me he wants me to stay in touch. He gave me his e-mail address.
I went home then and got a hot bath and put on my nightgown, and felt good like I have not felt in a long, long time. There was no tension in my body and I felt completely at peace.
Then the power went out. Oh, the storm was long over, but a transformer blew and plunged my whole section of town into darkness. People were out in the streets with flaslights trying to figure out how widespread the outage was. I was forced to go to sleep early and slept like a much-loved baby.
The next morning I asked God to give me a sign confirming what I believe I'm being led to. The sign I asked him to give me was a definite improvement in my blood sugar test that I was getting ready to do.
Now, for months my blood sugar in the mornings has been floating between 250 and 280, consistently. That Wednesday morning it dropped to 205.
The next morning it was 180.
Nothing has gotten these numbers to budge for months -- not starting insulin, not changing and increasing my insulin, not changes in oral medications or anything else.
My levels have bounced around a bit since then, but there is an overall downward trend in the numbers, which is good. It was under 200 again this morning, by a significant amount.
So why am I sharing this story, other than for the fact that I think it's pretty cool? Because I want to talk about prayer.
That simple prayer with Wesley was different, and powerful, and personal. It lasted for a very short time, but had more impact than any pastoral prayer in any service; any call to worship; any benediction that I've ever heard in any church. Why? Plain and simple because it was one person asking God to help another person. No pontificating.
Too often people mistake prayer for a public forum to tell other people what's what. They use it to further their personal political agenda. They use it to make people listen to what they have to say, instead of having a two-way conversation with God, which includes shutting up and listening.
This was intercessory prayer -- effective intercessory prayer. As the beneficiary of it, I know that I WAS HEARD. Not just by God. God always hears, even when all we can utter is a groan. He always hears. No, what made this different is knowing that Wesley heard me -- even through the 1-minute Cliffs Notes version of my distress. He heard me -- he listened without interrupting, even at the end of his very long day. He could understand my pain, my wounded spirit, and identified with me.
And he said that in the times in his life when he's also felt himself at the crossroads, the best advice he had was to follow the peace.
We all of us need to be heard. From one heart to another. The next time you have a chance to pray for someone, don't settle for repeating something someone else has printed. We don't need a lot more corporate prayers, no matter how much we might agree with the cause du jour.
What we really need to do is listen to the needs of our fellow humans. It's about connecting with someone and HEARING them, understanding them, and THEN asking God to work in specific ways in their lives, to meet their needs and ease their pains. After all, PEOPLE is what this whole Christianity thing is about -- individuals who need to connect with one another and with God.
To Wesley: Thank you for listening. I am praying for you, too.
Some interesting things have been happening this week as a result of a revival at my church. I'm spending a good chunk of time thinking on them in my heart.
The evangelist for our revival was a man named Wesley Putnam. He's a fine musician, a fun story teller and all that. But most important, he's a man with a caring heart. (See his site at www.wesleyputnam.org)
Here is something I need to share with you.
The revival started a week ago Sunday with the morning sermon. I had about made up my mind that I wasn't going to come back for the evening services because Wesley talked about raising our children to know Jesus. Having no children, and having a bit of an attitude, I was having none of it. Until Sunday night, when I went back for the church supper and the evening service, despite myself.
And you know that God worked on my head as well as my heart. I wound up going to all the evening services, Sunday through Wednesday.
Tuesday night we had a really severe storm. I left the office at six after hearing a lot of sheriff's department traffic on the scanner talking about the severe weather with rotation west of town, heading my way. I walked out the door and was hit by the deluge. My umbrella turned inside out in the 10 steps from the door to my car. I struggled to get in the car and get the door shut.
I pondered skipping revival but dismissed the thought, mostly because the church was closer than my house. I drove the four blocks over to the church and sat in the parking lot for a few minutes because it was raining so hard. I couldn't see anything once I parked -- none of the cars that I knew were there from when I pulled in, none of the houses in the neighborhood, nothing but sheets of rain.
The wind was blowing at about 70 miles an hour -- enough to start rocking my car. I was afraid it could flip the car the way it was getting underneath and lifting it. So I decided to make a run for it. I thought I would be a lot safer if I could make it across the street and into the church.
Well, the wind nearly knocked me down and the rain was coming down in sheets, soaking me to the bone. The water that ran through the street was already knee-deep on me. I made it to the steps before my umbrella was destroyed. I looked like I stood in the shower in my clothes.
I was able to grab a sandwich in the fellowship hall and stood under the blower in the rest room to dry myself enough so I wasn't dripping. I was still completely wet, but at least things weren't clinging to me -- too much.
The revival service was pretty remarkable. But it's what happened later that really made an impact. I met up with my friend, who is the organist, after the service and we started talking. She's always been very sympathetic to me and truly is concerned about me, unlike anyone else in this town.
We were the last two in the sanctuary as we talked, and I rode in the elevator with her. It's a brand new elevator, but it moved incredibly slowly while we talked. We got a lot said before it made it down one floor.
Well.... the door opened on my floor and we stood there, face to face with Wesley, the evangelist who was doing the services. He was still wearing the costume of his character from his presentation. Sue, the organist, said "Wesley, this young woman is at a crossroads. I need for you to talk to her." And with that she pulled him into the elevator. The door closed and then the back door (into the sanctuary) reopened and we went to talk.
He listened to me -- really listened, as I summarized briefly what the last two years have been like. He acknowledged that I am a wounded soul. I told him how much I miss my friends, my old church and the fracture there, and my life before I moved here.
He agreed that it sounded like my life is there. And he told me that when he has been in similar situations, his best advice was to "follow the peace."
I immediately was struck with the release of tension throughout my body. He held my hands and prayed with me and told me he wants me to stay in touch. He gave me his e-mail address.
I went home then and got a hot bath and put on my nightgown, and felt good like I have not felt in a long, long time. There was no tension in my body and I felt completely at peace.
Then the power went out. Oh, the storm was long over, but a transformer blew and plunged my whole section of town into darkness. People were out in the streets with flaslights trying to figure out how widespread the outage was. I was forced to go to sleep early and slept like a much-loved baby.
The next morning I asked God to give me a sign confirming what I believe I'm being led to. The sign I asked him to give me was a definite improvement in my blood sugar test that I was getting ready to do.
Now, for months my blood sugar in the mornings has been floating between 250 and 280, consistently. That Wednesday morning it dropped to 205.
The next morning it was 180.
Nothing has gotten these numbers to budge for months -- not starting insulin, not changing and increasing my insulin, not changes in oral medications or anything else.
My levels have bounced around a bit since then, but there is an overall downward trend in the numbers, which is good. It was under 200 again this morning, by a significant amount.
So why am I sharing this story, other than for the fact that I think it's pretty cool? Because I want to talk about prayer.
That simple prayer with Wesley was different, and powerful, and personal. It lasted for a very short time, but had more impact than any pastoral prayer in any service; any call to worship; any benediction that I've ever heard in any church. Why? Plain and simple because it was one person asking God to help another person. No pontificating.
Too often people mistake prayer for a public forum to tell other people what's what. They use it to further their personal political agenda. They use it to make people listen to what they have to say, instead of having a two-way conversation with God, which includes shutting up and listening.
This was intercessory prayer -- effective intercessory prayer. As the beneficiary of it, I know that I WAS HEARD. Not just by God. God always hears, even when all we can utter is a groan. He always hears. No, what made this different is knowing that Wesley heard me -- even through the 1-minute Cliffs Notes version of my distress. He heard me -- he listened without interrupting, even at the end of his very long day. He could understand my pain, my wounded spirit, and identified with me.
And he said that in the times in his life when he's also felt himself at the crossroads, the best advice he had was to follow the peace.
We all of us need to be heard. From one heart to another. The next time you have a chance to pray for someone, don't settle for repeating something someone else has printed. We don't need a lot more corporate prayers, no matter how much we might agree with the cause du jour.
What we really need to do is listen to the needs of our fellow humans. It's about connecting with someone and HEARING them, understanding them, and THEN asking God to work in specific ways in their lives, to meet their needs and ease their pains. After all, PEOPLE is what this whole Christianity thing is about -- individuals who need to connect with one another and with God.
To Wesley: Thank you for listening. I am praying for you, too.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
I'm Alive!
Thanks for asking, Tech. I'm still here and alive.
It's the time of year when I find myself staying inside the house more and more, trying to stay out of the killer heat. So, basically, it's work, home, sleep, work, home, sleep.
I need to get out and fight the lawn again. Finding the optimal time is critical, however, I have to work it in around the odd schedule of thunderstorms, which leave the grass and ground too wet for mowing; my work schedule, which includes too much weekend and evening time to leave time for mowing; and my chemically enhanced inability to tolerate heat and/or sunlight.
Add to that a wicked propensity to recurring leg cramps and extreme fatigue from the diabetes and you can figure that leave me about 15 minutes a week for yardwork -- at 3 a.m. alternate Thursdays.
I've been on the new combination insulin for a few weeks and have seen some small improvements in my morning blood sugar numbers. However, today I tested a couple of hours after lunch (and a nap, so undoubtedly my liver dumped out a bunch of sugar while I slept). Yeah, not so good. It was 415 at that point. I've only had one reading higher than that. These are scary numbers, if you don't know. But I feel "normal." Having some vision problems, but that's the only physical indicator I have that things are still sccrewed up.
Also I'm taking a mega-dose of Vitamin D once a week. A prescription formula of 50,000 units of vitamin D in a little green gel cap on Wednesday mornings. They only dispense these 4 at a time. Needless to say the medicine-taking routine is now at the point of being a ridiculous ritual. One pink, two yellow, one large white, one small white, a morning injection, an evening injection, another large white, and a greenie on Wednesday. And an occasional purple. GAH! Oh, and blood testing once or twice a day.
This doesn't even get into the food rituals of counting carbohydrates, etc.
Just the mental gymnastics that are required to keep all these plates in the air keep me from having the energy to focus on better things.
And I'm real certain I've just recently posted the exact same post.
In something completely unrelated:
The parable of the Prodigal Son has come up too many times recently to be mere coincidence. I think it would be safe to say I have heard four sermons using this as the text in three weeks. Each focused on a slightly different meaning to the story; however, it's resonating with me that I'm in need of "going home." I know where home is, and I need to get back to it. And soon. Where I am is not home. I will elaborate more when I can get myself back on the path to where I need to be. Sorry to be sort of cryptic but "the plan" for "going home" is not solid enough now to make public. Your prayers, however, are always appreciated for discerning such things. I've screwed up enough on my own.
It's the time of year when I find myself staying inside the house more and more, trying to stay out of the killer heat. So, basically, it's work, home, sleep, work, home, sleep.
I need to get out and fight the lawn again. Finding the optimal time is critical, however, I have to work it in around the odd schedule of thunderstorms, which leave the grass and ground too wet for mowing; my work schedule, which includes too much weekend and evening time to leave time for mowing; and my chemically enhanced inability to tolerate heat and/or sunlight.
Add to that a wicked propensity to recurring leg cramps and extreme fatigue from the diabetes and you can figure that leave me about 15 minutes a week for yardwork -- at 3 a.m. alternate Thursdays.
I've been on the new combination insulin for a few weeks and have seen some small improvements in my morning blood sugar numbers. However, today I tested a couple of hours after lunch (and a nap, so undoubtedly my liver dumped out a bunch of sugar while I slept). Yeah, not so good. It was 415 at that point. I've only had one reading higher than that. These are scary numbers, if you don't know. But I feel "normal." Having some vision problems, but that's the only physical indicator I have that things are still sccrewed up.
Also I'm taking a mega-dose of Vitamin D once a week. A prescription formula of 50,000 units of vitamin D in a little green gel cap on Wednesday mornings. They only dispense these 4 at a time. Needless to say the medicine-taking routine is now at the point of being a ridiculous ritual. One pink, two yellow, one large white, one small white, a morning injection, an evening injection, another large white, and a greenie on Wednesday. And an occasional purple. GAH! Oh, and blood testing once or twice a day.
This doesn't even get into the food rituals of counting carbohydrates, etc.
Just the mental gymnastics that are required to keep all these plates in the air keep me from having the energy to focus on better things.
And I'm real certain I've just recently posted the exact same post.
In something completely unrelated:
The parable of the Prodigal Son has come up too many times recently to be mere coincidence. I think it would be safe to say I have heard four sermons using this as the text in three weeks. Each focused on a slightly different meaning to the story; however, it's resonating with me that I'm in need of "going home." I know where home is, and I need to get back to it. And soon. Where I am is not home. I will elaborate more when I can get myself back on the path to where I need to be. Sorry to be sort of cryptic but "the plan" for "going home" is not solid enough now to make public. Your prayers, however, are always appreciated for discerning such things. I've screwed up enough on my own.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Conquering the plant world
I'm in the midst of a glorious four-day weekend. I believe this is the first I've had in two years, so I am enjoying every possible second of it! I hope you are too!
I've put in a considerable number of hours working on the lawn since Thursday, trying to catch up with the mowing, and the watering, and the trimming, and the pruning, and the Round-Up-ing (not a verb, but go along with me here, please.) I've got more to do tomorrow, weather permitting. Not a lot, but it could be a lot if I were so inclined, which I am not. I just want to get to the point where Code Enforcement doesn't slap a red tag on my front door again. Which means some more pruning and catching a few strips I missed with the mower while the sun was setting Thursday night.
So there's one attack on the plant kingdom, conquering the suburban lawn. Why did I want to live in a house again? I wasn't built for this kind of work. I'm not good at it and I never get to the point where it is done and well done. Maybe it's time for me to rethink this "life" style. I need a condo with someone else responsible for the grounds. Yeah.... and a masseuse. And a weekly pedicure.
Anyway, today I conquered another side of the plant world with an early morning trip to the farmer's market -- yeah! they were open on the 4th of July! And it was raining!
I woke up early and planned to lollygag in bed listening to the rain falling on my freshly cut grass. Oddly, though, sleep eluded me, which it never does. It's getting sneakier. So I got up, went to breakfast and headed to the farmer's market where I made quite a haul. I couldn't believe how many folks set up in the rain, but they have tarps they set up over their tables. I'm glad they do.
I walked away with a mess of green beans, a couple of tomatoes, some red potatoes, a candy onion, a couple of yellow squash and four peaches.
When I got home I decided to have a garden dinner today for lunch, and so I made up a recipe. Here it is, and let me just say I'll be making it again and can recommend it to you:
4 red potatoes, scrubbed free of the garden mud and cut into bite-size chunks.
1 sweet onion, diced.
2 yellow squash, washed and sliced into 1/2 inch slices. Halve or quarter the biggest slices so they are fairly uniform.
Put the veggies in a foil-lined roasting pan.
In a bowl, melt two to three tablespoons of butter; add about two or three tablespoons of good olive oil.
Add a good teaspoon of kosher salt
Add a teaspoon of fresh-ground pepper
Mince three cloves of fresh garlic and add to the mix. Give this all a good stir to mix. Pour evenly over the veggies; toss and turn to coat well.
Pop this into a pre-heated 450 degree oven for 30 minutes; remove, stir and cover with grated Parmesan cheese. Return to the oven; turn the heat down to 350 and let it settle for about 10 more minutes to let the cheese make friends with the veggies.
Remove from oven; resist the urge to start eating this until it cools down to the point of causing lethal burns. Once it's safe, enjoy!
I had a huge plate full of this for lunch and grazed on it the rest of the day, finishing the last of it off for supper.
Then for dessert, I took the four peaches....
Dip the peaches in boiling water to loosen the skins, then plunge in ice water. The skins will slide right off. Then slice and pit the peaches and put the slices in an oven safe baking dish (I used pyrex). In a small bowl, mix about a 1/4 cup of brown sugar, a tablespoon of nutmeg and a tablespoon of cinnamon (all approximate. Do it by smell so you have a nice spicy-sweet mix). Sprinkle it over the peach slices, then throw on some of your favorite nuts. Pecans would be ideal; I had blanched sliced almonds which were also good. Walnuts also would work great.
Bake at 350 (the oven is still on, remember?) for 15 to 20 minutes, until the brown sugar has melted and mixed with the juices from the peaches.
Again, refrain from eating this until the danger of scalding burns has passed. This is great in a bowl ... with a little vanilla ice cream on top. All melty wonderful, kind of like pie a la mode without the crust.
If you're diabetic, be sure you figure out your carbs first. I can't be responsible for backsliders. I can only tell you these things made my holiday a happy one!
I've put in a considerable number of hours working on the lawn since Thursday, trying to catch up with the mowing, and the watering, and the trimming, and the pruning, and the Round-Up-ing (not a verb, but go along with me here, please.) I've got more to do tomorrow, weather permitting. Not a lot, but it could be a lot if I were so inclined, which I am not. I just want to get to the point where Code Enforcement doesn't slap a red tag on my front door again. Which means some more pruning and catching a few strips I missed with the mower while the sun was setting Thursday night.
So there's one attack on the plant kingdom, conquering the suburban lawn. Why did I want to live in a house again? I wasn't built for this kind of work. I'm not good at it and I never get to the point where it is done and well done. Maybe it's time for me to rethink this "life" style. I need a condo with someone else responsible for the grounds. Yeah.... and a masseuse. And a weekly pedicure.
Anyway, today I conquered another side of the plant world with an early morning trip to the farmer's market -- yeah! they were open on the 4th of July! And it was raining!
I woke up early and planned to lollygag in bed listening to the rain falling on my freshly cut grass. Oddly, though, sleep eluded me, which it never does. It's getting sneakier. So I got up, went to breakfast and headed to the farmer's market where I made quite a haul. I couldn't believe how many folks set up in the rain, but they have tarps they set up over their tables. I'm glad they do.
I walked away with a mess of green beans, a couple of tomatoes, some red potatoes, a candy onion, a couple of yellow squash and four peaches.
When I got home I decided to have a garden dinner today for lunch, and so I made up a recipe. Here it is, and let me just say I'll be making it again and can recommend it to you:
4 red potatoes, scrubbed free of the garden mud and cut into bite-size chunks.
1 sweet onion, diced.
2 yellow squash, washed and sliced into 1/2 inch slices. Halve or quarter the biggest slices so they are fairly uniform.
Put the veggies in a foil-lined roasting pan.
In a bowl, melt two to three tablespoons of butter; add about two or three tablespoons of good olive oil.
Add a good teaspoon of kosher salt
Add a teaspoon of fresh-ground pepper
Mince three cloves of fresh garlic and add to the mix. Give this all a good stir to mix. Pour evenly over the veggies; toss and turn to coat well.
Pop this into a pre-heated 450 degree oven for 30 minutes; remove, stir and cover with grated Parmesan cheese. Return to the oven; turn the heat down to 350 and let it settle for about 10 more minutes to let the cheese make friends with the veggies.
Remove from oven; resist the urge to start eating this until it cools down to the point of causing lethal burns. Once it's safe, enjoy!
I had a huge plate full of this for lunch and grazed on it the rest of the day, finishing the last of it off for supper.
Then for dessert, I took the four peaches....
Dip the peaches in boiling water to loosen the skins, then plunge in ice water. The skins will slide right off. Then slice and pit the peaches and put the slices in an oven safe baking dish (I used pyrex). In a small bowl, mix about a 1/4 cup of brown sugar, a tablespoon of nutmeg and a tablespoon of cinnamon (all approximate. Do it by smell so you have a nice spicy-sweet mix). Sprinkle it over the peach slices, then throw on some of your favorite nuts. Pecans would be ideal; I had blanched sliced almonds which were also good. Walnuts also would work great.
Bake at 350 (the oven is still on, remember?) for 15 to 20 minutes, until the brown sugar has melted and mixed with the juices from the peaches.
Again, refrain from eating this until the danger of scalding burns has passed. This is great in a bowl ... with a little vanilla ice cream on top. All melty wonderful, kind of like pie a la mode without the crust.
If you're diabetic, be sure you figure out your carbs first. I can't be responsible for backsliders. I can only tell you these things made my holiday a happy one!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
I went to the doctor and the doctor said....
Hi folks! The series I promised you about the inspirational people in my life is still cooking and mulling around in my mind. However, I've been a little distracted with some heavy duties at work. A short summary of one week: College president faced the regents in a challenge by some staff members; restaurant closed by health department after a lengthy legal battle, with the largest fines ever assessed; 21-year-old shot to death and subsequent family battles; and all the normal, everyday ordinary stuff on top of that.
Oh, and I had to go to the doctor today.
The insulin I've been using wasn't doing the job to bring my blood sugar down, even at a bumped-up dosage. Today she changed me to a different insulin, which is a mix of long-acting and fast-acting insulins. I'll be giving myself two shots a day instead of just one; testing twice a day and oral meds twice a day.
She said that my pancreas has just "pooped out." Whoa Nellie, that's not something you want someone, especially a doctor, to tell you about your innards. Anyway, we're going to work hard to take the load off that ol' pancreas and try to keep the rest of me from "pooping out" too.
Last week I went in to have lab work done. Well, guess what. They lost one of the vials of blood so they didn't get the tests done that they wanted to have done today. So ... I had to give up another blood sample.
They did run some of the tests. And it seems that I also have another little problem that I wasn't expecting. She checked my Vitamin D levels. She told me that they consider someone is doing pretty well if their levels are about a 30 or better. Well, being the underachiever I am, I have a level of just 15. Huh. I got a D on my "D!" So instead of taking summer school, she's going to make me take a makeup D once a week in a mega dose. Great, another pill to swallow along with the diabetes pills, the high blood pressure and cholesterol pills and the blood thinner pill.
At least this explains the leg cramps! They have been fierce since the heat has rolled in. And frequent! OWW!
Let's see... I believe that's all of this organ recital. Nothing is as boring as reading about someone else's health complaints, and for that I apologize.
I could have told you about the killer vines that ate my back gate. Maybe I'll tell you that story tomorrow. You'll just have to come back and see, won't you?
Oh, and I had to go to the doctor today.
The insulin I've been using wasn't doing the job to bring my blood sugar down, even at a bumped-up dosage. Today she changed me to a different insulin, which is a mix of long-acting and fast-acting insulins. I'll be giving myself two shots a day instead of just one; testing twice a day and oral meds twice a day.
She said that my pancreas has just "pooped out." Whoa Nellie, that's not something you want someone, especially a doctor, to tell you about your innards. Anyway, we're going to work hard to take the load off that ol' pancreas and try to keep the rest of me from "pooping out" too.
Last week I went in to have lab work done. Well, guess what. They lost one of the vials of blood so they didn't get the tests done that they wanted to have done today. So ... I had to give up another blood sample.
They did run some of the tests. And it seems that I also have another little problem that I wasn't expecting. She checked my Vitamin D levels. She told me that they consider someone is doing pretty well if their levels are about a 30 or better. Well, being the underachiever I am, I have a level of just 15. Huh. I got a D on my "D!" So instead of taking summer school, she's going to make me take a makeup D once a week in a mega dose. Great, another pill to swallow along with the diabetes pills, the high blood pressure and cholesterol pills and the blood thinner pill.
At least this explains the leg cramps! They have been fierce since the heat has rolled in. And frequent! OWW!
Let's see... I believe that's all of this organ recital. Nothing is as boring as reading about someone else's health complaints, and for that I apologize.
I could have told you about the killer vines that ate my back gate. Maybe I'll tell you that story tomorrow. You'll just have to come back and see, won't you?
Friday, June 05, 2009
A new series
I'm going to be working on a new series of blog posts titled "Inspirations." These will be about real-life friends who inspire me with their creativity and positive approach to life.
One thing I've noticed about these inspirations is that their lives are not defined by their jobs, solely. In fact, in most cases their jobs, while important, are a relatively small part of who they are.
I've been reflecting lately on all the great people I know who have wonderful talents for music, photography, writing, community service and other avenues. I'm really blessed to know such great people, especially when my own life feels like it is taking a "time out." Even better -- these great friends of mine really don't see these talents as any big thing. Their gifts are just such a natural part of their lives that they don't recognize them as being profound.
Stay tuned to this blog. I'll start this series this weekend. I'm looking forward to sharing these people with you.
One thing I've noticed about these inspirations is that their lives are not defined by their jobs, solely. In fact, in most cases their jobs, while important, are a relatively small part of who they are.
I've been reflecting lately on all the great people I know who have wonderful talents for music, photography, writing, community service and other avenues. I'm really blessed to know such great people, especially when my own life feels like it is taking a "time out." Even better -- these great friends of mine really don't see these talents as any big thing. Their gifts are just such a natural part of their lives that they don't recognize them as being profound.
Stay tuned to this blog. I'll start this series this weekend. I'm looking forward to sharing these people with you.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
OK, that was what, a couple of months?
Guess what? It seems I've broken my addiction to frequent blogging!
Sorry about that folks. It has been a couple of months since my last update and I apologize for that. Lots of reasons, but no excuses.
I've gotten a lot of questions about how I'm doing with the insulin, and I have to say, not that well. It does not seem to be changing my blood sugar numbers one darn bit. I've had my dosage increased and still, nothing.
I do go back to the doctor's office next week for more lab work and then see the doctor the next week. We'll see what happens next. Clearly, we have not found the answer if all this medicine is just making my numbers go higher.
On top of the numbers themselves, I've just not been feeling hunky or dory. No energy to speak of.
I've been trying to get my house organized better but my lack of energy is making that slow going as well.
And because of that, I haven't done much of anything to write about. I've made a few trips to Stillwater, about 40 miles to my south, but that's about as far as I've traveled. My aunt has been pleading with me to come to Missouri for a visit for a LONG time now, so the next holiday I get probably will mean a trip up that way. I expect that will be for July 4 if I can, indeed, get more than two days off in a row.
Yes, that's one of the problems with my job. I still put in too many hours without adequate time off, but that is unlikely to change as long as I am here. So I just have to keep trying to get people to understand that only being able to count on having Sunday off puts a definite cramp in my ability to live.
Well, I wish I had more to update. It's past my bedtime and I'm sinking fast so I better just publish this for now and try to catch up more very soon.
It has gotten hot here, but it was cool today. I wouldn't mind more cool tomorrow!
Sorry about that folks. It has been a couple of months since my last update and I apologize for that. Lots of reasons, but no excuses.
I've gotten a lot of questions about how I'm doing with the insulin, and I have to say, not that well. It does not seem to be changing my blood sugar numbers one darn bit. I've had my dosage increased and still, nothing.
I do go back to the doctor's office next week for more lab work and then see the doctor the next week. We'll see what happens next. Clearly, we have not found the answer if all this medicine is just making my numbers go higher.
On top of the numbers themselves, I've just not been feeling hunky or dory. No energy to speak of.
I've been trying to get my house organized better but my lack of energy is making that slow going as well.
And because of that, I haven't done much of anything to write about. I've made a few trips to Stillwater, about 40 miles to my south, but that's about as far as I've traveled. My aunt has been pleading with me to come to Missouri for a visit for a LONG time now, so the next holiday I get probably will mean a trip up that way. I expect that will be for July 4 if I can, indeed, get more than two days off in a row.
Yes, that's one of the problems with my job. I still put in too many hours without adequate time off, but that is unlikely to change as long as I am here. So I just have to keep trying to get people to understand that only being able to count on having Sunday off puts a definite cramp in my ability to live.
Well, I wish I had more to update. It's past my bedtime and I'm sinking fast so I better just publish this for now and try to catch up more very soon.
It has gotten hot here, but it was cool today. I wouldn't mind more cool tomorrow!
Monday, March 30, 2009
It's been a few days
Giving myself the insulin shots has not been difficult. Just another routine to add to a day that already always seems overfilled. However, so far it does not seem to be reducing my blood sugar level, even with continuing my oral medications.
We started at 10 units injected at night -- the physician's assistant did say she wants to increase that to 20 units but wanted me to call her to report my readings after the first week, testing twice a day.
So... I get to stick myself once in the morning to test my early morning blood sugar, before breakfast. Then a handful of pills for different things with breakfast. Then at night I take another dose of the oral meds with dinner. Two hours after dinner I take my blood sugar levels again. Then before bed I do the insulin shot.
Stick, Stick, Poke! Sounds like a medical version of Duck, Duck, Goose! And it's not quite as much fun.
It's time for me to go to bed. I have to say I have enjoyed my three-day weekend for the most part. It was all spoiled this afternoon, though, when my very good friend Ron called me. He has been the music director and organist at my former church in Oklahoma City for about 20 years. He is an excellent musician with a powerful gift.
Well, he was calling to let me know he had just been fired. He has become the latest victim of a minister who needs to be removed for the sake of the church. A couple of months ago this minister engineered the firing of the director of adult ministries, who has done an exceedingly excellent job for about 10 years.
What's at the root of the problem? The minister can't keep his pants on in the presence of the church secretary, and everybody knows it. They have been caught with their "hands in the cookie jar" so to speak, many times. Yes, both are married to other people. So in a failed attempt to cover up their own moral weaknesses, they are resorting to setting up other people on the staff in a series of dirty tricks, forcing them to resign or forcing them to be fired if they will not resign.
Witnessing this has been devastating on so many levels. For those of you who pray, please pray for this situation.
As in all such situations, there is far more to this horrible story than I can convey in a single blog post. But as you surely can imagine, it is a painful situation for everyone in the church and beyond.
Everyone have a great week! Spring is on the way again.
We started at 10 units injected at night -- the physician's assistant did say she wants to increase that to 20 units but wanted me to call her to report my readings after the first week, testing twice a day.
So... I get to stick myself once in the morning to test my early morning blood sugar, before breakfast. Then a handful of pills for different things with breakfast. Then at night I take another dose of the oral meds with dinner. Two hours after dinner I take my blood sugar levels again. Then before bed I do the insulin shot.
Stick, Stick, Poke! Sounds like a medical version of Duck, Duck, Goose! And it's not quite as much fun.
It's time for me to go to bed. I have to say I have enjoyed my three-day weekend for the most part. It was all spoiled this afternoon, though, when my very good friend Ron called me. He has been the music director and organist at my former church in Oklahoma City for about 20 years. He is an excellent musician with a powerful gift.
Well, he was calling to let me know he had just been fired. He has become the latest victim of a minister who needs to be removed for the sake of the church. A couple of months ago this minister engineered the firing of the director of adult ministries, who has done an exceedingly excellent job for about 10 years.
What's at the root of the problem? The minister can't keep his pants on in the presence of the church secretary, and everybody knows it. They have been caught with their "hands in the cookie jar" so to speak, many times. Yes, both are married to other people. So in a failed attempt to cover up their own moral weaknesses, they are resorting to setting up other people on the staff in a series of dirty tricks, forcing them to resign or forcing them to be fired if they will not resign.
Witnessing this has been devastating on so many levels. For those of you who pray, please pray for this situation.
As in all such situations, there is far more to this horrible story than I can convey in a single blog post. But as you surely can imagine, it is a painful situation for everyone in the church and beyond.
Everyone have a great week! Spring is on the way again.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Huh. I wonder why I was afraid.
Turns out the insulin shots are nothing. No big deal. The needle is tiny -- smaller than the lancet I use for testing my blood sugar.
I've successfully done the shots two nights in a row.
The thing I am semi-panicky about is that I've misplaced a package of two vials of my testing strips. That's about $50. I had to go to the pharmacy this morning to get more because I used the last of my known supply yesterday morning. You know what will happen -- I'll pay for the new ones and then tonight I'll move one piece of paper somewhere and I'll spot the ones I haven't been able to find. Meh -- I've had to do some mild house cleaning in my search, which absolutely is not a bad thing.
Oh, I'm a bit panicky about something else. I got my pay check today and only had one half-hour of overtime pay. I can't live on what I earn! I'm used to checks with a LOT of overtime (which I still can't live on, but at least I get closer.) I'll have to do some definite belt-tightening for the next couple of weeks.
We're expecting snow at the end of this week. It figures. We're supposed to have a city-wide garage sale day on Saturday and I've scheduled myself to be off work Friday and Saturday. Looks like I better get stocked up on DVDs, groceries and books and just plan to have a nice three-day weekend at home, alone. If it does snow they will postpone garage sale day to April 4. Not sure I can manage to be off two Saturdays in a row. Oh how I miss having two-day weekends off every week!
Time for lunch. Thanks to all of you who have responded to my posts. It is so good to "see" you all! Hope you have a great day!
I've successfully done the shots two nights in a row.
The thing I am semi-panicky about is that I've misplaced a package of two vials of my testing strips. That's about $50. I had to go to the pharmacy this morning to get more because I used the last of my known supply yesterday morning. You know what will happen -- I'll pay for the new ones and then tonight I'll move one piece of paper somewhere and I'll spot the ones I haven't been able to find. Meh -- I've had to do some mild house cleaning in my search, which absolutely is not a bad thing.
Oh, I'm a bit panicky about something else. I got my pay check today and only had one half-hour of overtime pay. I can't live on what I earn! I'm used to checks with a LOT of overtime (which I still can't live on, but at least I get closer.) I'll have to do some definite belt-tightening for the next couple of weeks.
We're expecting snow at the end of this week. It figures. We're supposed to have a city-wide garage sale day on Saturday and I've scheduled myself to be off work Friday and Saturday. Looks like I better get stocked up on DVDs, groceries and books and just plan to have a nice three-day weekend at home, alone. If it does snow they will postpone garage sale day to April 4. Not sure I can manage to be off two Saturdays in a row. Oh how I miss having two-day weekends off every week!
Time for lunch. Thanks to all of you who have responded to my posts. It is so good to "see" you all! Hope you have a great day!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Went to the doctor this morning
It was a mixed bag this morning at the doctor's office. Some good news (blood pressure and lipids are doing much better). And some bad news. Blood sugar is back up high; bad A1C results. The verdict: Insulin injections, starting tonight.
It's not something I look forward to, but it appears to be a necessity. Oral meds are not doing the job well enough alone and have some problems of their own (like... one is a sulfa drug to which I am allergic.) We'll see how this goes. It's good that I am not needle phobic. In addition to the nighttime injections, I will have to test twice a day now, morning and night.
Going to the doctor's office is a source of depression for me. The past three visits I have seen the physician's assistant. She is nice enough but for some reason I just don't respond well to her. The last time I was there I told her that I was depressed and wanted to move away from here. She basically told me to stop whining and go. Well, so far it hasn't worked out, but when I went in she said "Huh. I didn't really expect to see you. I thought you'd be gone by now." So, I started out feeling defeated because the economy is what it is, and I haven't been able to go someplace else. And I felt like she was rubbing my face in it. Oh well. I did get my prescription refills so I'll be set at the pharmacy.
I do have to call in and let her know what my blood sugar levels are each day for the next week so we can start calibrating the insulin dosage.
Next time I will see the doctor instead of the PA. She's really good with the tongue-lashings but at least she is more sympathetic which I consider a strong point for those in the medical field. Sometimes a person just needs a few minutes to feel like there is someone on their side.
I'm curious to see how the insulin injections go. I need to do some reading on the matter.
It's not something I look forward to, but it appears to be a necessity. Oral meds are not doing the job well enough alone and have some problems of their own (like... one is a sulfa drug to which I am allergic.) We'll see how this goes. It's good that I am not needle phobic. In addition to the nighttime injections, I will have to test twice a day now, morning and night.
Going to the doctor's office is a source of depression for me. The past three visits I have seen the physician's assistant. She is nice enough but for some reason I just don't respond well to her. The last time I was there I told her that I was depressed and wanted to move away from here. She basically told me to stop whining and go. Well, so far it hasn't worked out, but when I went in she said "Huh. I didn't really expect to see you. I thought you'd be gone by now." So, I started out feeling defeated because the economy is what it is, and I haven't been able to go someplace else. And I felt like she was rubbing my face in it. Oh well. I did get my prescription refills so I'll be set at the pharmacy.
I do have to call in and let her know what my blood sugar levels are each day for the next week so we can start calibrating the insulin dosage.
Next time I will see the doctor instead of the PA. She's really good with the tongue-lashings but at least she is more sympathetic which I consider a strong point for those in the medical field. Sometimes a person just needs a few minutes to feel like there is someone on their side.
I'm curious to see how the insulin injections go. I need to do some reading on the matter.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
You have to see the eagles!
If you haven't already looked in at Eagle Cam you need to. The first of the three eggs hatched this morning and both parents have been feeding it. At this moment there is a large fish in the nest and one parent is sitting on the two eggs and hatchling.
It is fascinating checking in on them. There are two excellent cams watching the nest so you get to see them from two angles. Go get hooked!
It is fascinating checking in on them. There are two excellent cams watching the nest so you get to see them from two angles. Go get hooked!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Well, you see, it's like this
It seems a lot of us bloggers have moved over to Facebook because we are too busy to be bothered writing thoughtful posts about meaningful topics, which was what prompted us to start blogs in the first place. So, we've been settling for one-sentence quick hits on non-topics instead. The fast-food of communication. Yeah, we'd rather accept meaningless requests from our "friends" to tend a plant that doesn't exist or "help save the rainforest" or "clean the ocean" without having to do a darned thing except click the right button.
Meh. There are aspects of Facebook that absolutely make me crazy. All those stupid applications that waste my time and do NOTHING. True enough, it can be a useful way of conveying a quick message to several people at the same time, or posting an interesting story to different groups of friends. But seriously, couldn't we do that with e-mail or a blog just as easily and with less frustration?
I don't know any more. Each communications "improvement" seems to take us so much farther away from our connections goals.
Anyway, I've been watching Eagle Cam for the past few days. You can see it here:
http://www.suttoncenter.org/eaglecam.html
I did get to see both eagle parents eating a fish this evening, both standing up without being on the three eggs in the clutch. They are expected to hatch starting as early as tomorrow. Can't wait to see the babies over the next several days!
Meh. There are aspects of Facebook that absolutely make me crazy. All those stupid applications that waste my time and do NOTHING. True enough, it can be a useful way of conveying a quick message to several people at the same time, or posting an interesting story to different groups of friends. But seriously, couldn't we do that with e-mail or a blog just as easily and with less frustration?
I don't know any more. Each communications "improvement" seems to take us so much farther away from our connections goals.
Anyway, I've been watching Eagle Cam for the past few days. You can see it here:
http://www.suttoncenter.org/eaglecam.html
I did get to see both eagle parents eating a fish this evening, both standing up without being on the three eggs in the clutch. They are expected to hatch starting as early as tomorrow. Can't wait to see the babies over the next several days!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Wow!
I didn't realize that most of a month has gone by since the last time I blogged! Now February is close to its end and tomorrow is Ash Wednesday!
I won't ask you what you're giving up or taking on during Lent this year. It's a highly personal thing. I would just encourage each of you to give it some thought. We're so used to hearing about the "giving something up" part that people have become very inventive about their sacrifices during this period of preparation. But somehow I think that giving up lima beans, liver or brussels sprouts kind of misses the point of this spiritual discipline.
Taking something new on also seems to be a more recent development in some churches as the companion discipline to sacrifice. Both components have their place -- for example: I give up disorder and take on steps to orderliness to bring peace of mind and also to make myself ready to help others. That's pretty much where my intention lies this year.
This came to me full force recently (See the Feb. 1 post) and I realized that my slobby ways aren't just a hindrance to me living my own life, but also curtail my ability to serve others. It keeps me from opening up my home and practicing hospitality, and it also prevents me from being prepared to act quickly in other situations, should the need arise.
So, during this Lenten season I will be working on this from both approaches, and through study. My study may not be a typical Cokesbury curriculum type study; there are several books that address certain components related to an overall spiritual discipline and response that have my attention right now. Maybe I'll blog more about them over the next few weeks, but at the moment I cannot promise that. I want to see how things develop before I make that commitment to anyone else.
One other thing -- I am working on getting more rest and going to bed earlier. And it's about time for me to make the trip to bed to end this day.
Bless you all and remember that Jesus loves you. Please take a second to say to yourself -- say it out loud -- "Jesus loves me." Use your name -- make it intensely personal. Say it and believe it, because it is the truth above all others.
I won't ask you what you're giving up or taking on during Lent this year. It's a highly personal thing. I would just encourage each of you to give it some thought. We're so used to hearing about the "giving something up" part that people have become very inventive about their sacrifices during this period of preparation. But somehow I think that giving up lima beans, liver or brussels sprouts kind of misses the point of this spiritual discipline.
Taking something new on also seems to be a more recent development in some churches as the companion discipline to sacrifice. Both components have their place -- for example: I give up disorder and take on steps to orderliness to bring peace of mind and also to make myself ready to help others. That's pretty much where my intention lies this year.
This came to me full force recently (See the Feb. 1 post) and I realized that my slobby ways aren't just a hindrance to me living my own life, but also curtail my ability to serve others. It keeps me from opening up my home and practicing hospitality, and it also prevents me from being prepared to act quickly in other situations, should the need arise.
So, during this Lenten season I will be working on this from both approaches, and through study. My study may not be a typical Cokesbury curriculum type study; there are several books that address certain components related to an overall spiritual discipline and response that have my attention right now. Maybe I'll blog more about them over the next few weeks, but at the moment I cannot promise that. I want to see how things develop before I make that commitment to anyone else.
One other thing -- I am working on getting more rest and going to bed earlier. And it's about time for me to make the trip to bed to end this day.
Bless you all and remember that Jesus loves you. Please take a second to say to yourself -- say it out loud -- "Jesus loves me." Use your name -- make it intensely personal. Say it and believe it, because it is the truth above all others.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Premio Dardos Award
Thank you to Jill of All Trades for this award!
Here's the text that accompanies it:
"This award acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write. Awards like this have been created with the intention of promoting community among Bloggers. It's away to show appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web"
Now I am supposed to select 15 other fellow bloggers to pass this award too and contact them. I am going to have to think about this.... I'll get back to you1
To Jill of All Trades
Hi! Does this look vaguely familiar?? I saw your post about your dad's place and did a double take!
Living Frugally
Or, Authentic Living.
It's authentic to live within our means. We're not putting on a misrepresentation of who we are when we stop spending money we don't have. It's real. I'm broke, I don't spend. I don't charge. I don't steal from my future for something today that will a) be gone before it's paid for or b) will be in the way of me living my life tomorrow.
I'm sure we've all tightened the belt lately. Not many of us can say we're better off today than we were as we celebrated the millennium (remember that? what a big deal we thought it was? Remember all the Y2K crap?)
Now, I am not advocating the hording of toilet paper and bottled water -- I think people who do have a plan of preparation and wise storage of resources probably have a great idea, if the storage for the future doesn't impair life today.
What I am advocating is common sense and reason. Live well, in all senses of the phrase. Plan for old age. Plan for illness. Plan for hard times. Don't waste. Don't throw away money. Don't waste your life.
Several of my blogging buddies have been posting about their budgeting efforts over the past several months. I'm pretty sure I have, too.
Now and then I'm going to start throwing out some ideas about how to cope with less money. Here's a short list of things I am doing. I know these won't work for everyone, but they have become a necessity for me as much as just a plan of coping:
1. Give up cable. I gave it up when I moved here in June 2007. I don't watch TV. Not only do I save the $40 or $50 or whatever amount that cable costs a month, but I'm also not exposed to advertisements for products I "just can't live without." Sure, I missed the Super Bowl ads, but I don't need to create a demand for Pepsi or Budweiser in my house anyway. (Just don't interfere with my Diet Coke habit and no one gets hurt.
2. Eat at home. One small blessing of living here is that I can come home for lunch. On average, that saves me $7 a day for lunch these days -- unbelievable! That's roughly $140 a month.
3. Cook instead. From scratch. It's fun, it's relaxing and man, doesn't it taste better than the other stuff? YES. It's also cheaper and probably healthier. (Do not look to me as a source for healthful eating information. Let me serve as your "horrible warning.")
4. Create energy efficiencies. Go green. Compact fluorescent bulbs save a ton of money. I don't use old-fashioned bulbs any more. Take advantage of "green" give-aways where these lights are given out as promotional items. They will last for years. Arbor Day and Earth Day are coming up. Find a group promoting either of these and there's a good chance you can get at least one free bulb.
5. Keep driving the old car as long as possible. Keep it in good repair. My old car is about to turn 14. It's been through a lot, especially this past year. It needs a tuneup and as soon as I have the cash, it's getting one. And it will probably go a while longer. At this point I have to think of necessary repairs in terms of "how many car payments would this be?" Say a repair is going to cost me, oh, $600. That's two payments (or less). If that gets me more than two more months of service from this car, I'm money far ahead. My tags and insurance are much cheaper, and I don't have to pay all that new car expense with tag and title and license. OK, so the radio's not so great. Big deal. I'm only in the car five minutes each way to work.
6. I sew. I'm sewing more again because a) I can't afford to shop. b) there's no place to shop where I live anyway. To make shopping worthwhile, I have to travel about 100 miles to a major city. When I go, I make the trip worthwhile. But I budget for it now. I keep a list of things I "need" and then try to make sure I have cash when those purchases become essential.
7. Sales. Don't be a dang fool. If you see something, it's going to be on sale in a couple of weeks for half or less of the price when it first comes out. Yeah, I'm cheap. I get $4 prescriptions at Wal-Mart, and while I'm there I scout out the clothes -- mostly shirts, sweaters and jeans. The jeans I buy are about $17. But the tops? I usually spend $5 or so, certainly less than $10. Last time I was there I spotted a shirt I spent $15 for a couple of months ago, marked down to $4. I've learned!
8. My latest product recommendation is Debbie Myer Green Bags. They paid for themselves the first week after I got them. They keep produce fresh for a much longer period of time. No mor icky science experiments in my fridge, plus having fresh food inspires me to find ways to use it!
More another time -- share your favorite money-saving approaches in the comments!
It's authentic to live within our means. We're not putting on a misrepresentation of who we are when we stop spending money we don't have. It's real. I'm broke, I don't spend. I don't charge. I don't steal from my future for something today that will a) be gone before it's paid for or b) will be in the way of me living my life tomorrow.
I'm sure we've all tightened the belt lately. Not many of us can say we're better off today than we were as we celebrated the millennium (remember that? what a big deal we thought it was? Remember all the Y2K crap?)
Now, I am not advocating the hording of toilet paper and bottled water -- I think people who do have a plan of preparation and wise storage of resources probably have a great idea, if the storage for the future doesn't impair life today.
What I am advocating is common sense and reason. Live well, in all senses of the phrase. Plan for old age. Plan for illness. Plan for hard times. Don't waste. Don't throw away money. Don't waste your life.
Several of my blogging buddies have been posting about their budgeting efforts over the past several months. I'm pretty sure I have, too.
Now and then I'm going to start throwing out some ideas about how to cope with less money. Here's a short list of things I am doing. I know these won't work for everyone, but they have become a necessity for me as much as just a plan of coping:
1. Give up cable. I gave it up when I moved here in June 2007. I don't watch TV. Not only do I save the $40 or $50 or whatever amount that cable costs a month, but I'm also not exposed to advertisements for products I "just can't live without." Sure, I missed the Super Bowl ads, but I don't need to create a demand for Pepsi or Budweiser in my house anyway. (Just don't interfere with my Diet Coke habit and no one gets hurt.
2. Eat at home. One small blessing of living here is that I can come home for lunch. On average, that saves me $7 a day for lunch these days -- unbelievable! That's roughly $140 a month.
3. Cook instead. From scratch. It's fun, it's relaxing and man, doesn't it taste better than the other stuff? YES. It's also cheaper and probably healthier. (Do not look to me as a source for healthful eating information. Let me serve as your "horrible warning.")
4. Create energy efficiencies. Go green. Compact fluorescent bulbs save a ton of money. I don't use old-fashioned bulbs any more. Take advantage of "green" give-aways where these lights are given out as promotional items. They will last for years. Arbor Day and Earth Day are coming up. Find a group promoting either of these and there's a good chance you can get at least one free bulb.
5. Keep driving the old car as long as possible. Keep it in good repair. My old car is about to turn 14. It's been through a lot, especially this past year. It needs a tuneup and as soon as I have the cash, it's getting one. And it will probably go a while longer. At this point I have to think of necessary repairs in terms of "how many car payments would this be?" Say a repair is going to cost me, oh, $600. That's two payments (or less). If that gets me more than two more months of service from this car, I'm money far ahead. My tags and insurance are much cheaper, and I don't have to pay all that new car expense with tag and title and license. OK, so the radio's not so great. Big deal. I'm only in the car five minutes each way to work.
6. I sew. I'm sewing more again because a) I can't afford to shop. b) there's no place to shop where I live anyway. To make shopping worthwhile, I have to travel about 100 miles to a major city. When I go, I make the trip worthwhile. But I budget for it now. I keep a list of things I "need" and then try to make sure I have cash when those purchases become essential.
7. Sales. Don't be a dang fool. If you see something, it's going to be on sale in a couple of weeks for half or less of the price when it first comes out. Yeah, I'm cheap. I get $4 prescriptions at Wal-Mart, and while I'm there I scout out the clothes -- mostly shirts, sweaters and jeans. The jeans I buy are about $17. But the tops? I usually spend $5 or so, certainly less than $10. Last time I was there I spotted a shirt I spent $15 for a couple of months ago, marked down to $4. I've learned!
8. My latest product recommendation is Debbie Myer Green Bags. They paid for themselves the first week after I got them. They keep produce fresh for a much longer period of time. No mor icky science experiments in my fridge, plus having fresh food inspires me to find ways to use it!
More another time -- share your favorite money-saving approaches in the comments!
Sunday, February 01, 2009
Trouble comes knocking
I got home from church and was on the computer for a few minutes when I heard a persistent pounding.
I went to the front door -- no one was there, but I looked to my left and an old woman was beating on the front bedroom window. She was standing out there with nothing on but a nightgown so I ran down to her to ask her if she needed help.
Bare feet, bone thin. Her hair was just a tangled mess and she had a huge bruise all around her left eye.
I wrapped my arms around her and helped her shuffle into my house to get her warm. The police came to my door before I even had a chance to get back to my bedroom to get her a robe and some slippers. A woman officer came in first and I ran to get the robe and slippers. Then she needed to go to the bathroom, so I got her back there to let her go. Then we put her on the couch and wrapped her up in a couple of throws.
A man officer came shortly after that, and then the woman's daughter showed up and was just ugly -- saying that her mother was spoiled and mad that she hadn't gotten her way and so now she is going to a home.
I told the daughter we were going to talk to her mother for a while so she could just leave. The officers just looked at her like "you heard her."
A third officer came also. He spent some time down at the daughter's house and then came to talk to the other two officers. Kristina, the old woman, stayed with me and I just held her and hugged her and rocked her and patted her and tried to get her warmed up.
I talked to her to get her talking. She is 86, about to turn 87 later this month. She has some confusion but there were some things she was able to tell me that were clear.
The officers spent a considerable amount of time down at the daughter's house, which is two houses south of me. Apparently they agree with me that the situation down there stinks to high heaven, so they will have Adult Protective Services check things out in the morning. They did, however, interview the daughter enough to feel confident the woman will be safe there until APS comes.
The daughter's story is that the woman fell in the bathroom a couple of days ago and that's how she got the eye bruise -- she fell into a doorknob.The male officer seems to give some credence to her story.
The woman is bone-thin. Even through the robe I could feel her backbone. I would be surprised if she weighed 90 pounds. And she had to go to the bathroom again before she left. Hate to be gross about it, but there was nothing in the toilet either time, which indicates she has not eaten recently. The officer said her daughter told them she was on a medication she started today that gives her diarrhea.
I gave both of the officers my card. Funniest thing was Kristine said "I don't want this in the paper" when we were putting her on the couch. I told her I could promise her that, then I turned to the woman officer explained who I am.
Kristine was probably here an hour and a half or so and was still bone-cold when they walked her back home.
I am so upset but I know that if APS can get her placed somewhere in either assisted living or a care home things will be better for her. Her daughter is not capable of being her caretaker at this point -- and if she didn't punch her this time, I know she will.
And I will state that I don't believe the doorknob story. If that woman didn't punch her mother, I'm a monkey's uncle.
I went to the front door -- no one was there, but I looked to my left and an old woman was beating on the front bedroom window. She was standing out there with nothing on but a nightgown so I ran down to her to ask her if she needed help.
Bare feet, bone thin. Her hair was just a tangled mess and she had a huge bruise all around her left eye.
I wrapped my arms around her and helped her shuffle into my house to get her warm. The police came to my door before I even had a chance to get back to my bedroom to get her a robe and some slippers. A woman officer came in first and I ran to get the robe and slippers. Then she needed to go to the bathroom, so I got her back there to let her go. Then we put her on the couch and wrapped her up in a couple of throws.
A man officer came shortly after that, and then the woman's daughter showed up and was just ugly -- saying that her mother was spoiled and mad that she hadn't gotten her way and so now she is going to a home.
I told the daughter we were going to talk to her mother for a while so she could just leave. The officers just looked at her like "you heard her."
A third officer came also. He spent some time down at the daughter's house and then came to talk to the other two officers. Kristina, the old woman, stayed with me and I just held her and hugged her and rocked her and patted her and tried to get her warmed up.
I talked to her to get her talking. She is 86, about to turn 87 later this month. She has some confusion but there were some things she was able to tell me that were clear.
The officers spent a considerable amount of time down at the daughter's house, which is two houses south of me. Apparently they agree with me that the situation down there stinks to high heaven, so they will have Adult Protective Services check things out in the morning. They did, however, interview the daughter enough to feel confident the woman will be safe there until APS comes.
The daughter's story is that the woman fell in the bathroom a couple of days ago and that's how she got the eye bruise -- she fell into a doorknob.The male officer seems to give some credence to her story.
The woman is bone-thin. Even through the robe I could feel her backbone. I would be surprised if she weighed 90 pounds. And she had to go to the bathroom again before she left. Hate to be gross about it, but there was nothing in the toilet either time, which indicates she has not eaten recently. The officer said her daughter told them she was on a medication she started today that gives her diarrhea.
I gave both of the officers my card. Funniest thing was Kristine said "I don't want this in the paper" when we were putting her on the couch. I told her I could promise her that, then I turned to the woman officer explained who I am.
Kristine was probably here an hour and a half or so and was still bone-cold when they walked her back home.
I am so upset but I know that if APS can get her placed somewhere in either assisted living or a care home things will be better for her. Her daughter is not capable of being her caretaker at this point -- and if she didn't punch her this time, I know she will.
And I will state that I don't believe the doorknob story. If that woman didn't punch her mother, I'm a monkey's uncle.
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