Today has been a really stinky day, so by mid-afternoon the seed of a thought started taking root.
Wouldn't it be lovely to drop out of sight for a while? To give up all the meetings and the rehearsals? To suddenly fall into that "perfect" job, at least for a little while -- you know the one that pays you what you're worth, makes you feel as though you're really respected as a productive human being? The one where effort is rewarded and initiative is applauded instead of ignored?
The rut is getting deep and I look around and find many of my fellow rut-walkers are absent. The excuses are thick -- spring break; obligations with children; illnesses; overscheduled. I need to drop out for a while too, because I'm so very tired of walking in this rut alone.
It was a bad day. I can't say much more about it.
I'm tired. I'm going to go punch my pillow and crash. Tomorrow's another day.