Except when they aren't.
CAUTION: You are entering a momentary rant. This is a temporary situation that will work itself out with a little bit of time and effort. But for the moment, I must vent to you, my friends who are mostly total strangers.
This is about the hazards of new relationships. I'm not good at relationships. Never have been, my history would show. But I've recently started up with someone new, and doggone it, this one is a mere human being too. It was hard to see that at first with that bright initial glowing.
You may know what I mean. Maybe you've met someone and the newness seems so refreshing. This new person brings a perspective you haven't seen before; he is on his best behavior, and you are on yours.
Then you realize you've fallen under the spell again -- you've been looking at only the good things and fantasizing that every day will be as phenomenal as the first couple of weeks. You know this is true, but you haven't started seeing the unpolished side yet. This is the stage where there's some reality setting in. Any day now you'll see the crack in the veneer.
It's week 3 now. Weekend 2 was phenomenal; on Monday morning the sun rises with birds singing.
But somewhere inside you, after you meet to have lunch together, you hear the crack. By the end of the day, your nerves are jangled. It only took one comment -- one time being told "you don't understand anything about xyz."
One unintentional slight. One instant of feeling put down.
The message you hear is "you're only a girl. You can't understand business and such."
OK, I am an adult woman. I have areas of expertise. I had a history and a professional background and an education a month ago. It didn't go away when we met. So far, you don't know my capabilities.
Yes, it is true. I can sit at your computer and reset your home page. I can load a pop-up blocker so you can get your work done. I can set filters to keep the porn out of your e-mail basket.
No, I don't know why the neighborhood teen-ager charged you $300 and you're still getting 300 Viagra ads in your inbox every day. Maybe you shouldn't have paid him before he sat down. Maybe you should have checked to make sure he was blocking subject lines instead of contact names.
Honestly, I am sorry it didn't work. And I am sorry that your ex didn't know that such things are computer-generated spam. And I'm sorry she accused you of being a perv who solicited all that type of mail. I know that virtually everyone with a computer and e-mail gets that kind of crap sent to them. I'm sorry she didn't know that. And I'm sorry she didn't trust you.
None of that stuff matters to me. But I could fix it for you.
It's a shame you don't think I can, just because I'm a girl.
There are a lot of things I could help you with. I could help you with a computerized inventory program so you don't have to do all that by hand. I could show you how to use a scanner for checking in inventory and generating sales reports. Yep, I sure could.
You are, indeed, the expert on managing your business. You built it and it is a good business. I'm proud of you and I hope you are proud of yourself. I know the day will come when you're more comfortable with technology that could help you.
I'll know we're on solid ground when you trust me to make a recommendation.
We'll be golden when you know that being a girl isn't a handicap.
We'll be plantinum when I can learn that I don't have to take offense at small, meaningless comments from someone I've only known a month.
We didn't start by exchanging resumes. In time, you'll see what a powerhouse I can be. This isn't a job interview. It's a relationship.