Saturday, February 03, 2007

Another new drug

I just saw a commercial for another new drug. Cute graphics -- little colorful cartoony things extolling the ways it will make your life better.

The name of the drug is what threw me, though. It's called "Enablex." Now I ask you, doesn't that sound like the name of something that would be prescribed to CREATE a problem instead of solving one?

Patient: "Doctor, I just saw this ad for a new drug called 'Enablex.' I'd really like some. Can you write me a prescription?"

Doctor: "Well, I don't know, but let me ask you a few questions to see if you would benefit. First, have you received any therapy for co-dependency in the past six to 18 months?"

Patient: "Why no, doctor. Nothing like that."

Doctor: "Mmhmmm... OK, do you have any family members or close friends with drinking problems, compulsive shopping, chronic unemployment, drug use or narcissism?"

Patient: "What?! No! Everyone I know is doing just fine."

Doctor: "I'm so sorry to hear that. Yes, I can write you a prescription. Better yet, let me call this in for you. What pharmacy do you use? We need to get you started on Enablex TODAY! STAT!"

(cue music.)

Well, now, Enablex really isn't a drug to create an enabler out of healthy people. If you haven't figured out what it's for, go ahead and guess....

OK, here's the answer:

Enablex is another bladder control drug. Yep. Don't leave home without it or your balloon may burst, if the commercial is to be believed. Ka-Blooey!

Not to be insensitive to those who do have bladder control problems -- I know it is an embarrassing problem that can derail daily living. But hey, all you drug namers out there: Couldn't you come up with something better, maybe something like "Peenomore?"


Trixie said...

And while they are at it...If the side effects are worse than the initial problem, could you just not advertise or market that drug? Maybe not even invest in it? I mean really when I hear ads that say "Side effects include liver failure, kidney failure, heart failure, five kinds of cancer and - oh yeah - bad breath" for a drug that clears up acne...please! Spare me. Who is running out and asking their doctor for this drug???

Erudite Redneck said...

Most new drug names make me think of "1984."