Thursday, August 26, 2004

I sent you a motorboat....

Remember the old joke about the faithful Christian in the flood? As the water rose, all of the neighbors started to evacuate and offered to help him leave his home as well. One neighbor says "There's room in the back of my truck for your stuff if you'll just come with us now."

"Thanks, friends, but I'll trust in God to keep me safe," says he.

Most of the neighbors had left, and the water had reached about waist high when he sees a motorboat coming down the street with a rescue worker.

"Come on, get in!" yells the rescuer. "We've just got enough room for you!"

"Thanks, friend, but my God will keep me safe. I'll just stay here and pray," says he.

The rescuer shakes his head, but goes on without the man.

The water continues to rise higher, and the man climbs up on the roof. A helicopter comes and hovers above him, throwing down a rope ladder. The pilot calls out over a bullhorn urging the man to grab the ladder and climb up so he can be rescued.

"Thanks, friend, but God's kept me safe so far and I'll just stay here and pray," says he.

Finally, the flood rises so high the man drowns.

When he reaches heaven, he asks God why He allowed this to happen.

"I prayed and prayed, Lord!" says he. "I told all of the others that you would keep me safe. And now look... DEAD!"

God looks at him, square in the eyes.

"Look, I sent you a truck, a motorboat and a helicopter. What more did you want?!"

***

Today's been that kind of day. My yard is looking shabby again, time for another haircut. I've had trouble this summer keeping the lawn cut so it looks nice -- a combination of too much rain, too little time and waayyy too little ambition.

Twice this afternoon the doorbell has rung. On the other side there have been young men -- nice, strong, pleasant-looking young men -- offering to mow my yard, including tree trimming and edging for a nice price. I didn't have the cash on me at that time.

I hit the ATM when I went to the 7-Eleven to fill up the car. Then I went home and got ready to mow. Kinda. I was still sitting in my office chair when the doorbell rang -- for the third time.

Again with the nice, pleasant-looking young men! This time I just chuckled and said "What do you charge?"

You won't catch ME drowning on my roof. No sir. Not so long as nice young men keep mowing.

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