Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Dear Ann Coulter

Dear Ann,

Politics, smalitics. Let's talk about a few other things.

I saw you on Jay Leno's show tonight, and just a few words of advice.

1) Next time a liberal attacks you during a speech, grab that pie and eat it. At least a piece of it. You've missed too many meals, dear. They are simply trying to keep you from starving. They are compassionate like that.

2) Those legs. They be long. Next time you are on TV, get a skirt long enough to cover the reinforced part of your panty hose. It's distracting, that slit that shows everything that should be covered by such a decent conservative as yourself.

No, why do you ask? I am not a short, squatty liberal woman. How dare you suggest that my armpits start about the place where your knees bend!

3) One word: scarf. Scarfs are lovely accessories for covering your Adam's apple. Never noticed it before tonight, but it was bobbing up and down with every comment. Maybe it only shows because you have a neck as long as your legs, and you need to eat some pie.

See ya in the funny papers,



TECH said...

LOL! This was great! I wish I'd wrote it. Love the armpit line.

CrystalDiggory said...

I can't believe I missed her on Jay Leno! Very funny post, though, Trixie.

Anonymous said...

I have only seen Ms. Coulter once, when the CBC was covering something in the US.

My goodness she is one angry woman.
Talks a lot too.
Good post. Bene D

Erudite Redneck said...

I just got one word to say: Babe. :-)