The morning after

Pardon my French ...

... But holy crap!!

In the 20 minutes it took me to cook my dinner, it started getting dark, then it started raining then the wind started blowing. I was looking out my kitchen door to see how the trees were doing. They were blowing horizontally. I figured I better go look out front.

Here's what I saw:

1. My tree! My beautiful tree!!
2. My car! Too close to my car!!!
3. That is rain blowing horizontally across my neighbor's roof across the street.

Yeah. In that 20 minutes, I got .90 inch of rain, winds up to 70 MPH. Split my beautiful Bradford pear tree right in half and blocked the street. Came within 10 inches of landing on my car. Knocked the birds and their nests out of the tree.

4. Here's from the street side. You can sort of see how much fell into the street.
5. Hero with a chain saw from the city.
6. The tree splits right down the middle. A few years ago the opposite side split off during an ice storm. I'm afraid my tree is a goner for sure this time.
7. One of the birds' nests.

Some of the poor, stunned birds were laying in the yard. I thought they were dead, but a mockingbird managed to fly away when I approached it. I am afraid of what's under all the branches that I'll find later.

NOTE: It was actually quite dark outside, explaining why these are blurry. I had to use the night setting which lightened up the images, but the shutter speed was too slow to keep a crisp focus. But I think you get the idea.

Draw a Pig!

Time for a new game. I found this one on Trixie in Transit's blog.

Draw a Pig and see what it says about your personality.

Go take the test for yourself before you read my score!


Draw-A-Pig

WARNING!!! Take the test first before reading further!!




I drew my pig:

Toward the bottom of the frame, you are pessimistic, and have a tendency to behave negatively.

Facing front, you are direct, enjoy playing devil's advocate and neither fear nor avoid discussions.

With few details, you are emotional and naive, you care little for details and are a risk-taker.

With 4 legs showing, you are secure, stubborn, and stick to your ideals.

The size of the ears indicates how good a listener you are. You are a good listener.

The length of the tail indicates the quality of your sex life. You have no sex life.

Moving on

Dear friends Anne and Cliff started moving to the new house in the country. Several of us got together this morning at her house to load up our cars and trucks and caravan out to the country. So fun, and with that many hands the work was easy.

Seeing some of their individual furniture now in the house makes it look like a real home now instead of just a nice house. I was overcome with emotion and was not the only one. Anne, friend Lisa and I were walking through the house, getting weepy
several times. At one point the three of us were standing in one of the bathrooms and all three of us started sobbing! Happy sobs, of course!

I'm trying not to post too many photos of their place because I'm working on a secret project. So I'll just post a few that won't blow my cover.

After touring the house and unloading the vehicles, everyone went over to the guest house to have a look. One of the kids in the group happened to spot a lizard so I, of course, had to see if I could get a picture of it.




























One of the girls brought her Westie out to see the place. Cute, cute doggie!



























The rockers on the wide front porch were calling to us. Pretty soon just about everyone was relaxing on the porch. It gave me such a good, good feeling, seeing everyone kicking back and enjoying a simple, perfect moment.




























It certainly didn't take us much time or work to take this load of stuff, so before long we were all caravaning into Jones to the Rooster Cafe (Britton Road and Hiawasee for anyone in the area.)





































The neighbors have horses, a Shetland pony and a couple of mules. I positioned myself near these animals in order to get photos of everyone going up the lane to get to the main road. While I was watching for my friends, my back was to the mules. Scared the daylights out of me when one of them started braying right behind my head. Egads!


























You have to try The Rooster. Portions are exceedingly large. The chicken fried steak is easly large enough for three to five people to split. Catfish is glorious! I was afraid a fight was going to break out over a piece of French silk pie. Yummm yummm! Here we are after lunch.

No prom pictures here

OK, I don't have a prom picture to share, so I get to choose my favorite photo to share. Tech posted his hot prom photo (complete with blue tux). And somehow we twisted Frenzied Feline to post her prom dress photo.

I didn't go to my senior prom. No one asked. I did go to my junior prom, but it was not a great experience. My prom date later committed suicide after being caught molesting a young boy. He had a short, tragic life in so many ways. Anyway, the past is past.

But here is one photo of me that I have always felt good about. This was in 1997 after I had lost a lot of weight. Unfortunately people would not now recognize this as ME. Equally unfortunately, this is the way I see myself still. Someday I may return to reality. Sigh...

Just put a sparkly dress on me and we'll call this my prom photo:

I'm Home! I'm HOME!

It's been a good mini-vacation of sorts, house sitting for my friend Anne. She and her mother and son got home from their vacation this morning. She was kind enough to call me about 8:15 to say they were about an HOUR from home! EEK! I had decided to sleep in, thinking they wouldn't be home until late afternoon or early evening! So I hit the floor running, getting a shower, stripping the bed and tossing some laundry in the washer. (Sigh.) I am so glad she had a working washer. I had done a load of wash from my previous days at her house. Since my washer broke on the couple of days I was home, I was either going to have to do a load at her house or hit the laundromat. What a choice...

Anyway, after I got dressed and loaded up my stuff, I thought it would be a good idea to attack some of the dog hair tumbleweeds that had formed over the past week and a half. Oh my goodness. The blue eyed/brown eyed dog left enough fur to make at least two guinea pigs!

So I swiffered and mopped and dusted and washed the sliding glass door inside and out. And I used one of those Swiffer dusters on the leather couch and ottoman.

The one thing I didn't get done that I wanted to get done was changing the guinea pig's litter. That would have been a nice touch, but they'll get it after they wake up from their post-travel snooze. The three of them traded off driving all night.

They caught me mid-mop and I was doing the windows as they unloaded their vehicle, to keep Emma the Dog outside and entertained so they wouldn't have to struggle with dog and luggage at the same time.

When I came back in, it was just like any family-- as soon as the cleaning was done, it looked like a tornado struck! But that's OK. I'm glad they made it home safely and had a really refreshing Sabbath time away from home with other members of their family. Yay!

I felt a little like Donna Reed and June Cleaver this morning, shining up the place a little. I brought all the cleaning supplies home with me (they were mine-- I got some new cleaners because I didn't know where hers were stored.) While I'm inspired I am going to try to continue the cleaning spree here! I got home before the trash truck and recycling truck came through, so that's a plus. The dead stuff in my fridge is waiting for them at the curb.

I also got some knitting done last night. Photos later -- I knitted some dish cloths as a housewarming present for their new place. We'll be having a big moving day on Saturday.

It's nice to focus on my little house this week instead of some 20,000 square foot manse. Home, Sweet Home. May it always be thus!

Just filling in

Hi, y'all.

I'm just posting a "Hi, y'all" message today because there's been a gap of a few days since my last post.

My situation at present is such that I don't really have anything positive to blog about, and I don't want to unload here about the craptastic things going on. I started to write a quick summary list, just so you wouldn't feel like I'm keeping secrets, but even that was too negative.

Just a couple of things: After spending $611 on my car air conditioner, and spending five days in the waiting room, my car still doesn't cool on short trips around town. It seems to take between 7 and 10 miles before I get some coolness blowing.

Second, my washing machine is broken and the repairman won't come until Aug. 15.

The good news is that my aunt was well enough to go home earlier this week. I hope to call her later today.

I'm going to do some house cleaning today (what I can get done without a working washing machine. I may take a load of wash with me when I resume house-sitting tomorrow. Another friend has filled the gap for a few days, but I'll be there playing with Emma The Dog again tomorrow.)

I'll be visiting with a friend from Shawnee later in the day.

Go wish E.R. a happy Second Blogiversary! Two years! We should have a party or something.

Life is transitioning around me right now. I wish some of it was clearly a positive, happy thing for me. Hold good thoughts, please.

Dog-sitting

I've been out of pocket for a few days, dog-sitting. Here's my new best friend. We've become very close. Every morning we get up and play ball for a while during the cool time. When it's hot, we stay inside the house with the A/C as much as possible. Sometimes we play with Spongebob Square Pants and a long-necked dog (a toy giraffe). We've been having loads of fun!
Emma thinks she is a lap dog. Sometimes I have to remind her that when she stands up on her rear legs, she is taller than I am (not to mention stronger!)
Don't tell, but she really likes sleeping on the bed next to me. Her mom really doesn't want her doing that but mom's not here right now. Shhh.... it's a secret! I do have to say that Emma likes her half out of the middle of the bed.

Isn't she pretty, though? One blue eye and one brown.

Home Sweet Home

My friends Cliff and Anne are getting married soon. Friday they closed on their new house, which is paradise indeed. Friday evening they toasted the new house and invited me to come take photos. (Actually, I kind of insisted -- part of a project I'm doing for them. Shh.. it's a secret! LOL!)

As part of the festivities, Anne's son and his girlfriend tested the zip line across the pond. Things were going so well. Well, here, just take a look-see:

On the treehouse platform, looking over the situation.


























Aieeeee!!! This is FUN!!!!




























Uh-oh. Stuck! Over the middle of the pond!!






































If you can't go forward, try going back. He's pulling her back across to the platform.






































Almost there. One more pull and a swing should do it.




























OH NO!!!




























Revenge of the Mud Girl. Give him a BIG hug.









































Boy, that was fun! Can't wait for the next time!

Take Five Minutes -- and Imagine

This is better with the music. Just spend a moment -- enjoy -- and imagine.

Sand Fantasy

Requesting your prayers

I need your prayers for my Aunt Dot, who is in intensive care in a Kansas City hospital. She is suffering from sepsis and things are very much touch-and-go tonight. I've been in contact with my cousin, who has flown in from Atlanta. She had been talking with her mother on the phone last night and could tell she was in bad shape. She called a neighbor-friend who took my aunt to the emergency room. Her blood pressure was dangerously low and at one point they could not find a pulse.

My car has been in the shop all day today for air conditioner repairs (absolutely essential as you all know because of the 105+ temperatures we've been suffering this week.) Late this afternoon I learned the extent of the repairs ($600+) -- they won't be able to return it to me until Saturday morning.

Meanwhile, I've packed a bag to be ready to be gone for a few days if necessary. With the car A/C repair I'll now be ready to go the moment I'm told it is time.

This aunt is very special to me. She's taken over the role of "mother" to me since my own momma died in 1999.

Please pray that the doctors are able to achieve the fine-line balance to treat her and restore her strength without over-treating her. She has overcome cancer many times, as well as I don't know how many other health emergencies. This one is the worst so far and I am feeling rather shaky about the situation. So is my cousin, who has asked me to ask everyone for their prayers. We know Christ is the Great Physician.

Thank you all for your prayers.

OK

Maybe the secret IS to refuse to post if no one comments.

Dear Friend Anne

The other night when you tried so hard to fuss at me? It got through after all. Thank you for always being my scaffolding and for letting me be part of yours. Though things are changing in wonderfully good ways, you'll always be my friend.

Scroll down to my post about wisdom and dreams and you'll see how I processed you message. I got it.

Love you!

P.S., keep scrolling down to see more pictures -- the band, and more.

And just because I am so chatty today ...

This is my new friend. The butterfly blanket was delivered last night and she was allowed to go home today to Bartlesville. We had a great time. She is an angel!

Speaking of dreams: Note to J.T.

OK, here's a message I think I've been supposed to deliver to you for some time. Let's see if there's any understanding of it. It's a dream I have had MANY times in the past few years (probably 5 to 10 times in three years. Very lucid and I always remember all the details.)

There is a younger woman, maybe 5 to 7 years younger than us. Her name is Judy. She has long, sunshine-yellow blonde hair. In my dreams she is always wearing a pink skirt and a cream-colored blouse with ruffles. She's thin and very smart. She sees things with clarity and purpose and is task-oriented, outlining a plan and achieving it no matter what the challenge placed before her. She is a tremendous asset to the community, but modest and slightly shy. She may not be the first person people think of, but if she is on a list of names, she is the person everyone would pick to be on their team or committee for any project.

If you know her, or you meet her, you're supposed to marry her. OK? She's the one picked out for you. Let me know when the wedding's scheduled!

Wisdom comes in dreams

E.R. posted the other day about a dream he had about his father not being around.

I think such dreams are very common among those of us who have lost family members or other loved ones. I had one myself last night, one that came bearing messages and lessons left to learn.

A review of my family history: My dad died Aug. 23, 1976, the day I was supposed to head back to OU for my final semester of school. I had just finished my internship the Friday before and was enjoying the weekend at home. During our last conversation, I had a profound sense that we were finally relating as two adults instead of as angry father-submissive child.

My brother died at age 43 on Nov. 17, 1997. He had cerebral palsy and lived his entire life under my mother's care. They were totally inseperable after his schooling ended at age 12. Bob would never have been able to function on his own without a caretaker.

Momma died on Christmas Eve, 1999. Her reason for living died in 1997 with Bob. Once he was at peace, she was able to start letting go of this life.

So last night's dream was puzzling at first, but then the message was crystal clear. I'm writing it here to remind myself later, in case I forget. But I don't normally forget the dreams of this type because the symbolism is so clear and absolutely addresses whatever issue I need to deal with in reality.

I was in a home that clearly belonged to me. It had some similarities to homes I've owned -- features cobbled together. A bedroom from one home, a bath from a different one. Odd hallways and storage areas kind of pasted in here and there.

I was somewhat disturbed by the lack of tidiness -- not because I'm a neat freak (y'all know I am not.) What bothered me was that the messes I saw were not of my own making.

I turned down one hallway and saw my dad going into a room. Although he was 55 when he died, he was old and somewhat frail in the dream. He never contributed to the household chores in any form, so I knew that he was not cleaning up after himself. He couldn't even wash dishes if asked. Rather, wouldn't.

The next person I saw was Momma. I saw her hands, so crippled by arthritis that they were non-functioning, exactly as they were during her final years. The fingers literally hung from her hands, the joints so damaged that they had become disconnected. I felt the hot tears on my face even as I slept. She was sitting in her chair asking me for something to drink -- a grape soda, I believe.

On my way to the kitchen I passed a bathroom. Bob was in there, struggling to take care of himself. Wet towels were on the floor and the bathtub was in need of a good scrubbing. I admit my temper was often very short with Bob, something I regret every day of my life. I wish now I could have been infinitely more patient and loving.

I returned with the grape soda and a straw, and held the can so Momma could sip it. I can see her smile as she let out an "Ahhhhh!" followed by a loud belch. She smiled again as she would have in real life -- yeah, she got her kicks from being anti-social and belching was one of her favorite things.

I think she noticed me looking around the messy house with a sense of despair. I know I was wondering why no one else was lifting a finger.

And now, the moment of clarity:

In my dream thoughts, I said to myself:

"Of the four people living in this house, I am the only one who CAN clean it. That's why it has to be my job."

AHA!!

Immediately, I started scrubbing the bathtub, picked up the laundry and started washing it, ran the dishwasher and vacuumed.

I stopped feeling so put-upon once I realized I was the only one who COULD do it. Housekeeping started feeling like an honor instead of a burden.

Now, the second lesson:

Try as much as I might, I can't isolate myself as a single unit. Even if I wanted to leave these family members behind, I cannot, because they are each a part of me. I've learned that each of them appears in my dreams when there are particular things for them to teach me.

My dad shows up in my dreams when I need to understand that I am in control. Just as he controlled every aspect of life up until the moment he died, I am now in charge. Usually he shows up in dreams in which I am driving to a strange location. (Most particularly Dallas, but I haven't figured that out.) I wind up getting lost at a highway cloverleaf as day starts turning to night. That's when I notice that it is my dad driving the car and I am in the back seat. When I'm really lost, he is driving from the front seat, but from the passenger's side. I learned a long time ago that I have to be the one driving my car, NOT him. Now I make him pull over and give me the keys. He's welcome to ride along in the back seat if he wants. So far, he'd rather stay at the side of the road. Maybe that's where he needs to stay.

Momma shows up when I need to be more patient and compassionate, and when I need to figure out that some things have to be accepted and dealt with, instead of being fought against. She accepted an awful lot in her life and saved her precious energy knowing how to choose her battles. She epitomized the expression "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it." (Subtext: And enjoy a good belch while you do it!")

Bob shows up when I need to remember that we are who we ARE and not what we DO. BEING is the essence of living, not DOING.

Put them all together and the total lesson is: I am in charge. I am the only one who can clean up the messes -- all of the messes caused by the different parts of myself. No one else is going to help clean up because they cannot. This one is not their job. They did theirs.

If the house is full of dirty dishes, a skanky bathtub and bugs on the carpet, I need to take care of it. I need to take charge and be in control. Having this life and all of its problems to solve is my blessing. I just have to realize I am well equipped to do it, after all.

The Lavender Butterfly

Children's Hospital of Oklahoma is filled with children in dire need of prayer and comfort. If you ever have any opportunity to help a child in need, I implore you to do so.

I know we can't each do all that needs to be done for every child, but we can all do something to make life better for someone. We can volunteer to read stories, play with children in the play room, something.

Friday afternoon I was contacted by a friend from one of my message boards who knows about my prayer shawl ministry. She lives in Jenks, up near Tulsa. A mutual internet friend's daughter from the Bartlesville area is in Children's Hospital and had a very extensive surgery related to her spina bifida. She will be in the hospital a total of 10 days or so.

Meanwhile, Mom's father is dying of cancer and may not survive long enough for her to see him again. And Dad's mother is also gravely ill. Imagine the grief and pressure this darling girl's parents are going through with their daughter, mother and father all in such dire condition.

My friend from Jenks asked if I could do a child's prayer shawl. Of course, no question about it. I thought I could finish it by Sunday morning to have it blessed by my church, but I was a bit optimistic about my abilities. I just now finished it on Tuesday afternoon, and it's been my full-time job for the past four days.

This was the 10th one I've made since March and each one has been very special to me. Lots of prayers have been said for the recipients and their needs. This lavender one didn't have fringe, but blessings from the church come through the Teddy Bear, which is part of our church's Comfort Critter ministry.

Each month, 90 to 100 teddy bears and other soft, stuffed animals are placed in our sanctuary. They spend a month with us in the congregation, listening to the music, the prayers and the sermons. Members of the congregation hug the bears during worship. At the end of a month, the animals are "commissioned" to go out into the world to provide comfort and loving support to children in need. We send the bears off to work with the state Highway Patrol. They keep the bears in their cruisers and give them to children who find themselves in a car accident, broken down by the side of the road or caught up in a bad situation we don't even want to imagine.

We've done this for about 15 months now -- close to 1,500 critters. And as many as we send, they are all used every month and there are always more children in need than we have bears to provide.



This bear sat with me Sunday morning when we listened to our new organ play for the first time. I asked him to go to work just a little bit early to go with this prayer shawl. He was happy to take the job!

Be like my little bear friend, please. There are tons of kids out there who need to know there are adults on their side, praying for them and rooting for them to have the life God intended them to have.

Concerts in the Park

One of my favorite things in the summer is having the chance to hear free concerts in the park. Yukon city park hosts a summer series, as does Hafer Park in Edmond.

Tonight The Bonham Revue played in Edmond. These guys are friends of mine -- the bass player is engaged to one of my best friends (she of the feet in the previous post) and they are fast closing in on wedding plans. It's a very exciting time!

The guys in The Bonham Revue, a bluegrass group, are also members of a country band called City Moon. Check the schedule of both bands at City Moon. After tonight's concert they boarded the bus and headed for a gig in Kansas. City Moon will be playing in Hafer Park on August 10. Catch them if you get a chance! I promise you an evening of music you will enjoy.
They are also at Langston's in Stockyards City on August 12. Grab a steak at Cattleman's while you're down there.

Below: The Bonham Revue. In Photo 3, they are dressed for their rendition of "Viva Las Vegas!"

The final work

Here's how the latest prayer shawl, "Tree of Life," looked today at the end of church. My dear friend Anne is holding it up for me -- I was too short to hold it for anyone else to get a full shot of it.

I added a few more details to it late last night. I decided it needed a dove, so I made one. It really does look more like a bird in person because you can see the three-dimensional wings -- they don't cause enough of a shadow in photos to give you the necessary detail.

I also added more flowers along the bottom which helped me hide some adjustments I made around the "roots" area to try to straighten things up a bit. I also went back over parts of some branches to adjust the shading -- what I had hoped would look like shadowing before just looked stupid. I like it much better now. (That's what duplicate stitching can do for a piece.)

Let's see, what else... Oh yes, I did not want to put a fringe on this piece. And customarily the congregation has participated by tying knots in the fringes. To compensate for that, I put strands of yellow yarn in the centers of the flowers so people would have something to tie. And I left some "stems" on some of the flowers for more tying purposes. A good trim of the loose ends will neaten everything up.

So it is now done and out of my hands. On to the next project -- I think I'll go back to a couple of straightforward, simple prayer shawls for a while instead of competing with myself for "fancy" stuff. I was just inspired to create this design for the particular recipient.

Quiet down, you screaming hordes!

There's been SUCH demand (yawn) for a photo post of my latest knitting project. This is a prayer shawl I've designed for an older woman at church who is having some mobility problems and has not been able to come to church for about a month. I started working on this as soon as I heard about her situation. She's kind of a matriarch at the church -- there are three generations in her family who attend every Sunday.

The design is a Tree of Life with a textured bark. I've learned some things from this project that will make future projects better.

Tonight I spread out a quilt in the back yard and gathered up the shawl along with the "extra" pieces -- the sun, the leaves and the flower at the trunk. I think I need to add some more flowers around the trunk to smooth out some of the transition areas.

Photo 1: The project is layed out. Photo 2: Little flower sewn on. Photo 3: Leaves sewn on. Photo 4: I'll sew the sun on tonight.

43 Things

“Look, I really don’t want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you’re alive, you got to flap your arms and legs, you got to jump around a lot, you got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death. And therefore, as I see it, if you’re quiet, you’re not living. You’ve got to be noisy, or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively.” -Mel Brooks

***

I found this quote on a web site worth looking at: 43 Things Take a look and see what you think. The idea is to 1. Write down your goals; 2. Get inspired and 3. Share your progress. You've got space for 43 things on your list.

It is interesting to see some of the goals people have set for themselves, especially if it's a goal you have for yourself as well.

I see myself spending some more time at this site.

Warning

Photos coming later today. Knitting involved.

I just realized there's not a single post on my page with a photo. This will be remedied today. Beware.

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

ETA: Fuggedaboutit. I can't get Haloscan to work so I'm NOT messing with it any more! POO!

Seasons of Life

This evening I spent some time in my back yard, something I haven't done very often since I moved here 10 years ago. I've always seen yard care as a punishment -- a chore to avoid at all cost -- so considering the yard a place to enjoy has never been high in my thoughts.

I think that's changing, and that change is yet another signal in recognizing that I've entered a new season of life. I mowed tonight, and not my usual "just enough to get past it" mow. Too often I've been sloppy about corners and such. The goal's always been to get enough done to avoid getting a fine from the city.

Why is it different for me now? I suspect a large portion of the changed perception is due to having some trees removed. Yes, I am a tree lover and one thing that makes me very sad is the wholesale bulldozing of trees when some developers attack a piece of property in order to build highly over-priced McMansions.

However, these were specific trees that I despised. They were ugly. Some produced gnarly ugly fruit that only the birds and wasps could appreciate. They were very difficult to prune and groom. So last year, when some other pruning was required on trees in the front yard, I had the bad trees taken out too.

Also removed was a tall red cedar tree. The only thing that I could say nice about it is that some birds, and the squirrels, liked to hide in it. Oh, and I could say that it was nice enough to die easily. It was not a pretty tree, and it was a terrible source of allergens. It also resided right out my bedroom window so I could never enjoy having my window open.

OK, so I have more yard space this year since the Great Tree-Out of 2005. So... why do I seem to enjoy the yard more? I have big bare areas where the trees had kept grass from growing. That's not attractive.

Maybe it's not the change in the yard that's really significant, but it does work in tandem with the real reason. Getting control over some of the growth has given me some vision of mastering my space. It's as though it's becoming my own garden of Eden -- in that I've been given dominion over this space and I am responsible as its caretaker. It is up to me to make it as attractive as my soul desires it to be.

And yet, that's a symptom -- a shadow, if you will. The true key is that I am observing myself enter a new life phase. And it's one I treasure! Folks, I'm getting OLD.

I am. Not old, as in "start shopping for the nuring home and check the will." Old as in I'm in a third phase of life. No longer child. No longer caregiver (note: never had children, so I never got to do much of the mothering phase. I was a stepmother briefly. My caregiving was more for my mom during the end of her life.)

This third phase -- this growing old -- is new to me. I'm not sure what gifts it will involve, but I am excited.

You know when I first embraced this phase? A few months ago, after I had taken a shower and had washed my hair, I stepped out and started combing my hair. I just caught a glimpse in a split second of a halo... I couldn't believe my eyes so I stopped to look. Yes! There it was! A circle of white all the way around my hairline that I couldn't see when my hair was combed and dry. I looked again. YES! Not salt-and-pepper. WHITE.

It is just the color of my Grandpa Deal's hair. White.

That was the moment I decided I wouldn't color my hair any more. I embrace this change. I've earned it. (Any woman who has gone through hot flashes and night sweats can understand what I mean about "earning it." There should be SOME reward for that. Not that these things are nearly as bad to endure as I've always been led to believe. Menopause has been way oversold in a negative way. We've been cheated by that, women.)

Since the discovery of my "halo" I've started noticing little feathers of white hair growing in at my temples. If y'all remember Gov. George Nigh as he started going gray, you know what I'm talking about. He was very distinguished looking with the white temples. Why is it women aren't "permitted" to be happy with this natural progression? You don't call women "distiguished;" you tell 'em to make friends with Lady Clairol.

Well, I'm admitting that I've colored my hair for a while because it just seemed to be becoming duller. But I've never been happy about doing it. Now, I'm stopping. Yeah, it might look a little strange for a while. I'm hoping I can hold out long enough so that I can get my hair long enough to donate to Locks of Love. I'm about halfway there -- they request 10 inches of hair length so the hair can be used to make wigs for cancer patients. If I make it to 10 inches, I will be able to donate all the hair that is still my "natural" color and then embrace the NEW me fully.

So here I am. Going gray; enjoying my yard. Definitely a new season has arrived.

Making happy birds

Recipe:

Awake at 6 a.m.
Enjoy quiet time in the back yard, pulling weeds and listening to the birds sing.
Shower and eat breakfast.
Get lawnmower from garage. Spend 30 minutes trying to start; spend 10 minutes on porch letting flooded mower settle down. Listen to birds sing while waiting.
Get mower started; mow front yard.
Sweep and hose off cranky neighbor's driveway to avoid complaints later. Enjoy that summer smell of water on hot concrete.
Replace hose spray head with sprinkler; position so bare spots get water.
Pull Virginia creeper from side of house and bag up for trash. (Boy, this project will take several days. I hate Virginia Creeper!)
Note birds doing happy dance in small puddles. Also note dirt starting to creep onto cranky neighbor's drive again. Dang it!
Move sprinkler to the other bare spot on the opposite side of the yard, under Bradford pear tree.
Sweep cranky neighbor's drive again.
Move mower to back yard for late afternoon session.
Sit on front porch until sweat stops pouring down face. Listen to birds sing.
Walk around to back of house and go in kitchen door, with tile floor.
Kick off wet Keds.
Get very, very cold drink.
Glug. Glug.
Refill cold drink; store in fridge while fixing lunch.
Grab cold drink with lunch and head for computer for e-mail fix.
Stop at picture window in living room.
Observe many birds doing happy dance together in sprinkler and puddles. Count types of birds:
Sparrow
Robin
Female cardinal
Mocking bird
Pigeon
Grackle

Happy, happy birds. Happy, happy homeowner.

Maybe yardwork doesn't stink so much after all.

All about Trixie

This is an interesting way to see how much people know about you. You create your own quiz with a choice of answers. I'll be interested to see how much people know about me -- I really don't expect too many people to get many of mine right. It even may be a little shocking to some when they see my quiz. So take it, let me know what your score was, make your own quiz and post a link in the comments! Have fun, and be kind.

All About Trixie

Uh-oh! I think I've fixed the link. Try again, please! And thanks Other Trixie for letting me know it was broken!

Knitting for the World

Many of the blogs I read are written by fellow knitters. There seems to be an emerging grassroots desire to knit for others on a world level. I'm collecting links here (as much for myself as a place marker as for others who are interested in finding a way to put our sticks and string to use).

One that touches my heart is this: Soldiers Angels.
Soldiers Angels provides hand and foot coverings needed for wounded soldiers on Medevac flights back to the US. The simple fleece or knitted coverings are used to help keep critical patients' extremities warm. Everything needs to be oversized to fit on big hands, or over casts, bandages, and arterial lines.
"We can also use knit caps," the web site says.

Seen over at Crazy Aunt Purl's place is Operation Gratitude, a group formed three years ago to send care packages to the troops, especially those who may have no family to support them during their service. Operation Gratitude just shipped out its 150,000th box on Father's Day. For more information, check out Operation Gratitude's site or How individuals can contribute.

A tremendous source for community or charity knitting is Bev's Country Cottage. Here are many links for knitting for babies, families who have suffered miscarriage, the military, cancer patients, seniors, the homeless, and domestic abuse survivors.
There are so many links within links at Bev's Country Cottage -- I can't recommend her site too much.

A big one is Afghans for Afghans which is a humanitarian and educational people-to-people project that sends hand-knit and crocheted blankets and sweaters, vests, hats, mittens and socks to the beleaguered people of Afghanistan.

This grassroots effort is inspired by Red Cross volunteers who made afghans, socks, slippers, and other items for soldiers and refugees during World Wars I and II and other times of crisis and need.

In many communities, local knitters have formed knitting collectives for specific purposes. One of those is Warming Grace. This is a sweet, sweet heartwarming project. Warming Grace is an ongoing project designed to create blankets from knitted and crocheted squares for children dealing with cancer. So far 221 knitters worldwide have sent in enough squares to make 20 blankets!

Each knitting project and group has its own requirements, so please check with the project directors or their web sites before starting your work. Fabric content is particularly important in these projects -- most of us have stashes of acrylic fiber yarn, but natural fibers are imperative when knitting for the sick, infirm or bedridden for safety reasons. (Acrylic is a dangerous fiber choice as it will melt rather than burn. Safety counts!)

Well, my friends, there's a beginner's list of how a set of knitting needles and some yarn can make a difference in the world.

Of course I will continue with my local project of making prayer shawls.

Here's a simple pattern for these: Using size 11 straight needles, cast on 57 stitches. K3, P3 each row. It should not look like ribbing. Most take three skeins of yarn. When you are ready to add on the third skein, first make the fringe (this can range from three to nine inches long -- later I'll add more detailed instruction on fringes.) Finished dimensions are roughly 28 inches by 60 inches. Wider and/or longer is fine -- try to keep them in scale with the size of the recipient.

Of course I've ventured into using the prayer shawls as a means of artistic expression also, and I've deviated from the standard pattern lately for particular people. It is much faster to knit the basic well-accepted prayer shawl pattern, and there is a sense of community in the simple uniformity that comes from knitting the same thing thousands of other knitters have done.

Here's a link to the original Prayer Shawl Ministry.

Whether you are a knitter or not, there are many ways to support these types of ministry. You can help establish a group in your community, whether in a church or some other gathering group. Or you can help by supplying materials so others can afford to continue their work. Or you can help identify projects or potential recipients. Or you can help provide postage so these things can get to the people who need them.

Thanks to all of you, knitter or not. If you find yourself wanting to help in some way, please pay attention to that small inner voice and do something. You'll help make the world better, I promise. One little change can make a world of difference.

Random thought triggers

I'm developing this list as a writing exercise. These are some key phrases that bring flooding memories back to me. Your challenge, should you decide to accept it, is to develop your own list of memory triggers.

These are not complete sentences. In some cases the phrases alone would mean nothing to anyone else. That's what makes the exercise such a personal experience -- the few words I jot here are the keys that unlock chambers filled with scenes from my life.

And now... the list, Part 1:

Yost lake
purple irises
bologna wrapped in white butcher paper and a half-gallon of milk
Sunday evening sand bar picnics
sand plums
vinegar bottles
sprinklers and hot sidewalks
fiddlestix
Wheel-os
cold watermelon, sweet iced tea and the smell of Salems
quilts spread out on new-mown grass
band concerts in the park
kite flying
Gibble Gas station in Guthrie
Zero candy bars
Oh Henry candy bars
Hospital vending machines
Highlights for children
Crayons
Sunshine on a black linoleum floor
Rope swing in a pear tree
Blue gingham dress
Clothesline poles and fences
Tetherball
Roller skating
Sweeping
Lolo Hall, weather girl
Galloping Gourmet
Shooting free throws
Running track
Snapping green beans under the walnut tree
Sam
Wagons and trikes
Blue bicycles
Laundromat
Yellow house
Dairy store
Walking to the library in rain
Popcorn and ironing
Soap operas
Jeopardy!

Friday 5:37 p.m.

Head hurts.
Head hurts.
Head hurts.

The work week is over. No annoying carry-over problems. It is finished.

Head hurts.

I am hungry. This morning I needed to go to the hardware store and Radio Shak to acquire necessities. On the way I stopped at McDonald's for breakfast.

I picked up things like washers for the garden hose, spray paint for my clothesline poles (nyah! I still HAVE clothesline poles and I don't think many people can say that!) I also picked up some stylin' turquoise colored coated clothesline wire. This weekend I want to put my handy solar dryer back in service! I've lived here 10 years this month and I've never used my clothesline! First, when I moved in, there was no way for me to get from the washing machine in the garage to the clothesline in the back yard without going all the way through the house to the front door and then back around to the back yard.

Since then I've remodeled the kitchen and had a window changed into a door. I love my door. Now I can go directly from the kitchen to the back yard. I even had a set of steps built -- so much better than just falling to the ground! My grill and smoker -- as yet unused :^( -- reside just outside the back door. It is just a few more steps out to the clothesline.

With utility bills soaring and my relative income not keeping up, I'm turning back to simpler days where self-reliance and do-it-yourself determination made it possible to survive. (Oh come on now, I'm not using an outhouse or chopping my own firewood. I'm just going to start using a clothesline as much as possible to save a few bucks!) I also plan to start sewing some of my clothes again.

Head hurts!

In keeping with my simplicity movement, I wish I had started something cooking in the crock pot this morning. I would have something to eat by now. But no, my fridge is fairly empty and I've well depleted the pantry. And I am hungry.

Head hurts.

I am free tonight. Nothing hanging over my head. No social obligations. Computer runs virus scan on Friday nights so I won't be shackled here in my chair. I love times like this.

Head hurts.

I wrote more than 4,000 words this week -- actually much, much more, but then had to cut it back to the ballpark of 4,000 words. More trimming was done by others. Number of published words will be slightly less, I predict. I also did some photography to go with some of those words. Nothing worthy of sharing here.

Head hurts.

I am going to stop now and forage somewhere for food. I will take my car and use up some precious gasoline to buy food that is not good for me or my diet. I will consume plenty of dark brown bubbly goodness in the form of Diet Coke.

Oh, I better remember to turn the sprinkler off. I was so excited to put a new washer in the garden hose that I've let the sprinkler run virtually all day.

Hmm. Sprinkler water hitting the hot concrete driveway. I bet the smell alone will make my head stop hurting!

See ya!

Tired, hot and sweaty

It was another long work day. To wind down, I went out to the back yard for a few minutes, thinking about what I'd do if I had the money to do some landscaping. The frustration of poverty set in about the same time the mosquitos started biting, so I changed gears and went to clean out the garage.

Yeah, that garage of mine ... it is was the pits. There was no way I could walk from one end to the other, which has been a major frustration.

Habitat for Humanity is making a donation pickup tomorrow, so it was a great opportunity to cull out things I no longer need or want. Once I got started, I really got the purging fever!

As a result, there's a big pile of stuff on my front porch with yellow Habitat for Humanity stickers all over them to identify them as donations. The floor has been swept (well, much better than it has been in years). I found things that I tossed in the wash and will bag up to add to the pile in the morning. They are useable items but far too dirty to donate as they were.

The final status of the garage:

Lawn equipment neatly lined up and accessible (YAY!)
Like items grouped together (YAY!)
Old, useless items discarded in the trash (YAY!)
Floor swept (YAY!)
Found sprinkler and watered front yard (YAY!)

Sure, there is more to do, but continued work will be much easier with a clearer floor surface.

GAH! I just scared the fool out of myself when I spied a june bug on my shoulder. I guess that's the price I have to pay for delaying this task for so long.

All that's left to do tonight is to finish washing those items, then take a long, hot shower before collapsing into bed. Hopefully it will be at a relatively human hour. Maybe I'll get a "full" night's sleep tonight for a change!

If it's not one thing ...

My apologies to anyone who has been browsing around for something to read. It's been a little hard around here and I've found my refuge in knitting at odd hours. I know not all y'all are into the knitting, but there's something very soothing about it for me.

Anyways, I've been feeling like I'm hanging on by the proverbial thread. Many stumbling blocks keeping me from staying on track and on time with my little money-making efforts. Unfortunately that throws a wrench in things for other people which makes them as stressed as it does me. Not good for any of us. But maybe that's why they call it "work" instead of "recess." Sigh.

It's that time of year when being outside for my job leads to physical complaints: Instant sunburn (I've taken to wearing a wide-brimmed straw hat when I know I'll be out for a while.) Being on construction sites brings additional problems like being caught in a soaking downpour and getting sucked in by a river of red mud or getting a 6-inch abrasion on my leg from coming down on a stake supporting a concrete form. Stepping in shifting sand around lumber is dangerous. Oh well, I will have a lovely large bruise for a while. Enough to keep me from wearing short dresses or short shorts in public, for which the public says "THANK YOU."

I'm falling apart physically in so many ways. My blood pressure is at the "astronomical" level. My blood sugar issues put me in a semi-stupor at odd times. My sleep schedule is past ridiculous. And will someone PLEASE turn the air conditioner down!! (fanning self delicately). Being a woman of a certain age has its sucky moments for sure. Kind of like adolescence in reverse. If you thought 13 looked bad, try looking at it going backwards at 90 mph!

I'm also house-sitting for an older friend who finally made a trip to see her daughter. She hasn't been away from home since 2000, she told me, and she loves to travel. She lost her husband in February and I had to have a conversation with her recently about a visit I had with him in the hospital. He wanted me to make sure that she got out and went to see friends and family once he was gone, because he felt so guilty about clipping her wings. That was all the encouragement she needed to get back out there.

I spent some time over at her house doing "ladder tasks" for her one evening. You know what I mean by that -- changing the batteries in a clock and rehanging it in a new location; adjusting a curtain that was mounted too high; moving decorative items on a tall shelf. Those were the jobs I used to do for my mom, mostly -- changing light bulbs and cleaning the bugs out of the fixtures.

She called me today to check on things and to mention some flowers that need a little water. I'll go by later to take in today's mail and newspaper and give the plants a drink.

All day I've been chasing a pretty interesting economics story. It's a bit like going from zero to 90 in 2 seconds. I've gotten quite an education on a topic I was not familiar with. Whew! I love it when that happens but it sure pushes the adrenaline through my system.

To top it off, I was on the phone so much my phone battery went dead. Arg! I need to find a non-battery phone that takes a headset so I could actually listen and type at the same time. That's why I got the cordless phone to start with. Trying to work without a headset is an occupational danger!

I'm taking a break for a bit now that most people's work days have ended. The phone should be silent for a while. I realized just now that I never got lunch today.

Please forgive me if my comments have been sparse on your blogs. My best wish is that I can settle back into a more balanced life soon.

Tree of Life

Here's a project I started working on last night. This is a trial run on a "Tree of Life" pattern. Hoo-boy! This is a tough one! I'm surprised I finished this panel as quickly as I did. I have some changes in mind for the second attempt, but I will make use of this one as well.

The concept of my design will be to use this as a center panel of a larger piece. The notion is to create a piece that can be auctioned to raise money for a low-income housing nonprofit organization. The twining branches represent the connection between individuals and community. The early concept is to add a strip of a pattern called "Joyful Children" at the bottom and surround the whole piece with the "Little Pink Houses" from the Glad Rags I made for the wedding.

I may do an edging on the outside in a leaf pattern -- representing how we can scatter our efforts to the world.

I'm sure there will be changes and adaptations as I go along.

Ready for the wedding

I'm getting myself ready for the wedding this evening, but here are the last three of the hand-knitted dish cloths I made as my gift to the young couple.

Here we have a microfiber Jack O'Lantern; a lace butterfly and Little Pink Pig. He may not show up terribly well because of the choice of yarn. I've learned to use a plain, one-colored yarn for these instead of a swirled kinky yarn that competes with the pattern. Anyway, you can make out his beady little eye and his curly little tail, I think.

At the end is the little bundle all tied up in ribbon with a card.

More pointy sticks and string

It has been noted that I haven't posted since Sunday. Oops! Well, yes, I've been tangled up in more yarn, working with a smaller pair of knitting needles than usual. A young lady from my church is getting married on Saturday and I've been working on some hand-knitted dish cloths as her present from me. I've got five done so far and if I have time I'd like to get another couple done. I'll tie them up with a ribbon and put them in a basket, if I can find one that I like.



Anyway, I just finished knitting this one, a dragonfly. I hope you can see the patterns that are knitted into each. It's kind of hard to photograph the texture without going to greater pains than I'm willing to at the moment. Dragonfly is spending the night pinned to my ironing board. He's been sprayed with water. This process is called blocking, and helps stretch out the finished cloth to relax the yarn into its new shape. It also helps open up the stitches so the pattern shows better.

Here are the others:



























This is the hardest one for me to see, unless I hold the lower edge higher than the top edge. It is a daffodil. The leaf and stem are to the left. There is a large flower top center, and a smaller flower going to the lower right.


























Here is a blue butterfly. He's a cute one.




This one is a red apple. He may be hard to see since this is a flecked yarn. Looks pretty good in real life.


















Without a doubt, this one is my very favorite. It's called "Little Houses." I call it "Little PINK Houses." There's a whole neighborhood here! I hope to find some other patterns that have this kind of open work. I think a lot of my friends are going to be getting "Little Pink Houses."




Anyway, that's what my hands have been doing while my brain has been spinning. A lot of negative, self-critical messages have been playing and I'm trying to fight off a substantial depression by keeping these things that I love close at hand.

I've also started working on my next prayer shawl. It's a dark blue. So far it's just over six inches, trying to get somewhere between 60 and 72 when finished. Usually it's good if they get to 60, but I'd like to make this one a little longer, and I have the extra yarn. It's great when I can buy out deeply discounted lots of yarn (60 percent off!) at the Hancock's Fabrics just a few blocks from my house. I can make a prayer shawl from three skeins, but I buy all they have if there are only four or five skeins left of a particular kind. 60 percent off!! Even broke me can manage to scrounge up a few bucks for that kind of bargain.

It's late ... I haven't been getting near enough sleep for the past few weeks, which is only compounding things on the dark side. So I'll bid you all a good night and ask that you all be blessed with a restful night.